Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, this girl I like just told me a funny story about her pooping adventures. We shared a laugh and she told me "I could never say that to my boyfriend, but I can to you. I don't know, it's like the uglier the boy, the more comfortable I am with him." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WCARlover 35
This right here is proof that chivalry is not dead
mansfield_j 27
Hey atleast you made her feel better, sucks you crapped yourself but it's all well worth it to keep your girl happy in my book.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
varutha 16
Being romantic has nothing to do with an accident. You did a good job ;)
anythingmustbe 18
Whatever happened to perdix?
dawood_k 27
Things men do too make their woman happy...
Sakuraashita 15
You sound like a really sweet guy, OP, I'm sure your girlfriend will remember that you were there to cheer her up when she needed it and that you love her no matter how she looks, but not the part where you crapped your pants, that sucks, but she'll never find out unless you tell her. ;)
ChloeTDCC 7
Little things like that can really make a difference. Good for you for reassuring your girlfriend, OP.
buckdharma 38
It's mind over matter op. Just say, I shan't shit, no matter how fat she gets.
worldclassrager 41
I don't think she'll hold that over you...
luverofakatsuki 16
lets hope she doesn't I dont think you want her to drop it but good for you on making her fell better
sempisaviour 17
You sound like Chewbacca taking a shit
Cherryta 17
Your heart was in the right place OP...too bad your bottom was not.
buckdharma 38
She's sad cause she can pinch an inch. You're even sadder cause you pinched a whole loaf. I'm wondering if she's still your main squeeze, but I guess it Depends. All I can say is love stinks.