Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML
Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML
Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she took the shower head and started spraying my penis with it. I asked her, "What are you doing?" Her response, "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
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Top comments
Tippssy 0
Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot
Darkon 0
That is awesome!
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Comments (427)
Schumy0724 4
my girlfriend named mine Bob
BeeSkwaird 0
Bob, meet Boob, and her sister. Get acquainted.
killmeslowly 0
good one!
BigRedMan 0
Haha wow
RaspberryK 0
I call my boyfriends Snowflake
SnowByte 0
You're telling me that I share one of my nickname's with your bf's penis??? >.< Oh dear.
kurtsee 0
don't name it make her eat it
Thunder14 0
Snowflake? wtf?
brrrx 0
You are so whipped.
_killnina 0
haha i think thats so caute (: i named my bf's sean ahaha
ninjakittyxx 5
After your ex boyfriend? ;)
Tippssy 0
Pokedex Entry: Squirtle Type: Water Height: 6.5 inches Moveset: Harden, Pound, Withdraw, String Shot
hecuva 0
Haha, best comment ever! Very well done :D
blameyourself 0
You win at life for this comment. Water Pump?
JessTrek 0
I love you. Hahaha best comment ever.
exit_arsenic 0
you have just made my existence worthwhile dammit, i need to name my boyfriend's penis after a pokemon. i should never have given pokemon pearl back to my ex! -googles 'pokedex'-
darcloki32 0
Brilliant.
Intoxicunt 6
Yeah, seriously. I think I love you. That comment was ******* hilarious. All of these were. OP just started a nerdy, amusing convo. This made my day.
KittyKat_Chan 0
This pretty much made my day. :D
UncleverName_FYL 0
LOL #21, OP you should have called her ****** vileplume Type: flower Element: bush Main attack: absorb
ziqi92 0
well squirtle cant learn string shot...replace that with hydro pump still ROFL I LOVE UR GF OP!!!!!!! POKEMON FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sexy_chan 0
You are amazing. This has totally made my day. =] @OP: Keep her forever. That's awesome.
clockworklolita 3
hahahah. absolutely excellent comment XD
mclaxin1115 0
you are the king. world champion. of all time. they said that this year, pittsburgh is the city of champions for the steelers and penguins, but they haven't seen your hometown. you are the best!!!
septemberlovebug 0
that is absolutely hilarious.. i just read this to my bf and he is cracking up, this made my night! :)
Knare 2
ROFLLL. you are so awesome!!!
sk8rchick97 0
hahaha
laurentaylorbby 0
You are amazing.
VenomSiphon 13
Trust me man, so many worse alternatives. Oddish, diglett, slowpoke, farfetch'd, grimer, ghastly. An awesome name would be ninetails or Lickitung : D
callargh 0
The next time you're about to have sex, you should go "What? Squirtle is evolving!"
kris18gc 0
win!