Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mkymouse90 17
3 weeks you better run she's crazy!
jnanderson 16
Tell her you're sterile
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (270)
kurodansei 16
So yeah not only is she crazy, but she is also extremely disrespectful to you, your wants, and life situation.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
So lol... 'thinking about it' doesn't mean agreeing with it... and i would say it's time to start guarding your seed. Make sure you dispose of it where she can't get at it. Also man up and put her in line. Ditch the bitch if she won't listen to common sense. They say people who commit suicide don't talk about it anyway, they just do it. So she's calling your bluff. Anyone who uses emotional blackmail like that is not ready to have children albeit after only 3 weeks. This is rediculous. She's not good breeding stock for her stupidity alone. Play the movie Idiocracy for her. Also direct her to the Darwin Awards web site and tell her she belongs on there if she insists on talking like that.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
Unless she's already pregnant in which case, FYL op. FYL. In this scenario I, would, for mankinds sake and your own, refuse giving in to her demands. Let her end it.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
She wasn't bawling over out of stock cribs earlier today was she?
TheRoyalBattler 5
Death by..... NO???
toocuteprincess 6
She is the seed of Chucky man you better run!!
awkward_gothlady 32
She's only going to get crazier. Get out now!
awkward_gothlady 32
She sounds a bit like my bandmate's crazy ex who would get him back every time they broke up by either pretending to be pregnant or actually being pregnant...and then when the kid was born, she refused to let my bandmate see the kid.
Redundant_Idiot 7
I would talk with her parents about getting her psychological help before breaking up with her. Also, you should talk with her about the commitment of having a child. She sounds like a total basket case.
RodGD 6
Never ever stick your **** in crazy.
MidnaLink 35
Psych Ward! Psych Ward!
Baller_Bob 17
Better start planning her funeral