Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skittlesmeep 4
Tell her sex would burn more calories.
Barr3lR0ll 9
It will, but nowhere near the amount she wants.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
Steffi 26
It will. Also, OCD isn't something which should be taken lightly.
schambers23 4
Only if the effort includes her having to "squeeze" through the door.... but then who's to says she's not just simply wearing the door down.
suzyrobertsxo 7
the only thing your girlfriend is going to loose is hair. it will become a stressful habit.
brewmasterg 34
When she goes outside lock the door. Hopefully this will motivate her to go for a walk. Otherwise, you're down one stupid girlfriend. It's a win-win. (Yes I know OP didn't specify to say it was their front/back/flyscreen/sliding/rotating/French bay door. Deal with it.)
wolverine47 10
Tell her that if she wants to burn fat she should light an obese kid on fire. That'll do it.
skyeyez9 25
(walks thru doorway 15 times) "Achievement unlocked, 13 calories burned."
ellepants 2
that's aggravating. I have a real form of ocd, trichotillomania which makes me pull my hair out resulting in big bald spots. seriously tell her to just work out and stop with the bs
supportcommand 17
If she's so fat that her sides scrape the door frame when she goes through, then it will probably work. Just have to scrape enough fat off to make it worth while.
nonnieluv 9
She's not the brightest bulb in the box is she? I mean taking a half hour walk everyday with proper diet sounds like a more effective idea.
Jasonf6 0
Umm, run while you can. NOW!!!!