Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
Today, my date unexpectedly brought her friend to dinner with us. They seemed bored of me after ten minutes and left me out of their conversation for the rest of the night. Oh, and they made me pay for both of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a date with this girl who turned up with bags of Instagram camera equipment. She photographed everything, the drinks, food, and yet we barely said a word to each other. In the end, I paid my half and left. She didn’t notice I’d gone for at least 15 minutes before texting me. FML
Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML
Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her Twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML
Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML
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Top comments
dee3108 0
straight out dude... you seem like a very nice guy.. who just so happened to be stuck with a hardcore bitch.. dump her and find one that appreciates!
Learning2livelyf 4
Sounds like she's not interested in you. Time to move on.
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Comments (466)
DocBastard 40
You should have called her and asked her to participate.
NuyoRicanGirl 3
nothing more romantic than calling or texting each other at regular talking distance =p
biass 0
23- It's funny because it's true. Especially around friends...
smellymellyy 7
wow.. tbh you shouldn't date someone like that. you deserve more respect op and i think you should voice your opinions to her!!
bgo7 0
true dat! POWER TO TGE PEOPLE!!
Sadieladean 0
I'm sure she would pay more attention if you texted it to her. lol. dump her, that's not the way to treat someone even if just friends
jbear380 0
Your life doesn't have to suck, either find a more appreciative girl friend or open a better line of communication. You deserve this only because of YOUR choice of girlfriends.
chucachyna 0
what does OP stand for?:/
DocBastard 40
Oppressive Prima donna
CloudEnvy 17
Overt pelican.
ElGranOrgo 0
Overly Pretty Chyna
PurpleMonkeysFor 0
Obsessive Pickle. jk. op means original poster, aka, the person who wrote the FML.
rallets 23
wouldnt those be OPD and OPC ???
tr0llz0r 0
Ovary Persuader.
allmidnighteyes 11
Oprah's Penis
Katie_the_Great 6
17 it means original poster, they're just messing with you.
ILoveEggnog 7
Katie, don't be so misleading. We all know that's not what it means.
ryrywakaka 0
Lolol oprahs penis @@
EvilPotato 15
ssssh Katie it might still work
cptmorgan15 2
My eyes light up when I see someone ask this question. Then I look at the comments and there's always someone who ruins it.
CheckMyProfile 17
orange pudding :)
planckit 6
overaged pedophile is what OP stands for
dirtyblond 4
Overused Penis
yuggi1 11
Oversized Panties.
aussie_gemini 5
#44 yes your correct... #51 your hilarious... but we all know it stands for over penetrator
eablue_fml 6
original poster (person who started . ie the person who wrote the fml)
Amaxwell 0
original poster
icantellu 7
Original Poster (:
r6_fml 4
Orangutan penis
nny138 0
Optimus Prime
TheNewGuy03 29
ornithological pornography. |the kid|
jinxthejinx 0
Obnoxious porcupine. All the people saying "original poster" are wrong. That is just ridiculous.
niqqabeater 10
Original Poster
cally72 0
she sounds very self absorbed, get out now and let her be someone else's problem. plenty nice ppl out there.
EvilPotato 15
I'm sorry but that's soooo funny
iamtwiggyme 0
mmmm.... French fries!!
EvilPotato 15
you can't have any
sunnysurfchick 0
what a f'n ****.
ElGranOrgo 0
I'm sure she wasn't on facebook or playing games but talking to her actual boyfriend that beats her and makes her ****** and shoving it in his face that shes on an actual date to get back at him. Quit being a C*NT, grow some balls, quit getting used AND QUIT WINING AND DINING bitches. just hit it and quit it!
ohyess909 0
soo true
jusdef 0
Dude good job! Now that' should have been the very first one!
ElGranOrgo 0
I was driving lol
mmedeiros14 0
Why are you still with her then??? Dump the bitch!!!
relyo 0
It's your fault. She clearly doesn't care about you. Leave now, because if you don't, you have only yourself to blame.
DjeePee 25
Jup, I couldn't agree more. I know that guys usually don't get hints, but come on OP, the only thing that's missing here is that she wore a T-shirt telling 'please, break up with me'.