Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Saone_fml 27
So much for trying to please her... Next time she makes dinner, scream at her that she's cheating on you and practicing cooking for someone else.
cuponoodles34 10
does she really trust you so little???
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
jokinghazard 3
You just can't win with women huh?
DKbik3r1234 3
I thought I was the only one that did that....
BexBaby86 21
Ouch. I think telling her what you did in order to please her should be enough. If there's no communication.. Or trust for that matter.. The relationship won't last. If she still doesn't believe you, maybe it's time for a break to figure out whether its worth going through.
amifaiyaz 12
Last too short, she's pissed.Last too long and you're cheating. You just can't win.
russfml 31
Your girlfriend sounds extremely insecure with herself
luvmaboo 7
Just tell her the truth. Maybe she will appreciate the fact that you want improve your sex life, by going that extra mile. Most guys don't even try to last longer!
actingchick9870 8
**practicing
Lilo4life 26
Always what happens with us girls, in an attempt to please, the poor guy gets screwed over.
Iniezian 18
Rather than try to last longer, learn PC control instead for next time.
Misaki18 17
Practicing? I don't know what practising is...
fadingaway 17
In British English, which I assume OP uses in Germany, "practice" is the noun and "practise" is the verb, so "practising" is correct.