Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML
Today, I got married. My dad wanted to see me before the ceremony in my dress. The dress I wore was not my usual kind of dress, strapless. The first thing my dad said, "Ginger! You've got boobs!" Not exactly the father-daughter moment I'd envisioned. FML
Today, my father told all of us that he eloped with his girlfriend of two months. I'm engaged to the woman's daughter, and have been engaged since before they met, but now my family is making fun of me for marrying my "sister". FML
Today, my future mother-in-law tried to blackmail me out of the wedding with photographs of me with another man. Her son and I met on a swingers website and we both have multiple sexual partners, so we had to tell her the truth. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe it. FML
Today, I met my future in-laws, two lesbian ladies. Can you imagine that, two mothers-in-law judging me for daring to want to marry their precious baby boy? By the time we left, it felt like they’d extracted every iota of information about me through my skin with sandpaper and rusty barbecue tongs. FML
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Top comments
k43L1 0
Your future husband was ok with that? O.o If it happened to me, my bf would have flipped and I would have slapped the guy & been disgusted. NO ONE touches me without my consent. but that's just me. You could just laugh it off?
KamilleBlack 3
Don't marry into it. The End. Or don't invite him to the wending.
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Comments (91)
AmberAusgeflippt 13
If you feel comfortable enough around them to walk around with your **** hanging out, is it that unreasonable for them to feel comfortable enough to motor boat them?? Put the girls away if you don't want the attention. Any dirty old man that has a big ol' set of cleavage in his face can't be blamed for motor boating them!
altis 16
Don't marry him. Simply.