Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
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Top comments
Shock98 0
why on earth did you think this was a good idea in the first place?
marrajane 0
You know that "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing right? Inflammable things catch fire???
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Comments (296)
coolios_fml 0
wow your a dumb ass! my boyfriend is a ******* retard but he knows inflamable and flamable mean the same thing ohh... and only dip ***** with nothing else to do with there life jack off into socks next time you want to feel like less of a moron go jack off on aninflamable surface! ass hole!
maybe_tomorrow 0
FML WIN
car6435 0
lol ur retarded for lighting a sock on fire filled with skeet in ur room
yumpinyiminy 0
YDI for doing that in the first place, but even more so for not looking up what "inflammable" means.
10ovhearts 0
okay. this is sad, how many comments here are trying to get the same point across. basically, flammable and inflammable mean the same thing, just like famous and infamous. so both socks and semen are flammable and INFLAMMABLE
oh_bummer99 0
are you RETARDED???
Maigraith 0
famous and infamous don't really mean the same thing. Infamous is being famous for bad reasons, like Hitler.
MangoTango333 0
umit was probably the sock that caught on fire. also inflammable means the same thing as flammable. ydi ydi ydi
lonelygirl42 0
english is a stupid language; inflammable actually means the same thing as flammable.
LoosechangeXxXx 0
Your a ******* dumb ass. YDI For being Then most Dumb ass person on earth for thinking that Flammable and Inflammable where different Congratulations your a Complete ******* Retard. Also why would you post that on the internet queer.
hmckay2010 0
couldn't u have at least jacked off into a condom? a sock? really? then u lit it on fire? u could have stomped the sock out instead of flinging jiz everywhere... unless u like that kinda thing.