On Melancholy Hill; Boston, United States
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML
Today, my biology teacher assigned us partners for a project. I got paired up with one of the smartest kids in the class. When he found out I was his partner, he cried. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
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