Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
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Top comments
Rynk95 11
Not worth the effort.
GoWithTheFro 10
Well he'SNOT good enough for you :D
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Comments (116)
FYLDeep 26
Now that's what they call baggage.
ICATiger 13
Your sneeze blow him away....
ICATiger 13
*blew..... I'm such a retarf
Britter903 6
*retard
yadisingh 5
Spelling retard wrong while calling yourself a retard. Skill.
CrazyAsian77 5
I wonder what his reaction would have been if a big slimy booger landed on his food...
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
#14- don't be a dick!! She tried... the ass leaves cause she sneezed??!! What a deutche!! OP... keep tryin!
Reality_bites 14
If he's like that about sneezing, I cant imagine what it will be like when you fart. Or kiss him. Or eventually try to have sex with him. Or other things such as eating out at a restaurant. He sounds like he needs professional help. Im curious to know what he does when HE sneezes and farts though.
JulieMarie87 7
That was my first thought too! He might be cute, but it sounds like he needs help, and that's a huge pressure on a new relationship. OP is better off.
FYLDeep 26
That's some serious Howie Mandel shit. You don't want anything to do with that.
Enslaved 38
I once saw Mandel get hugged by an excited contestant. His look of fear was priceless. Fist pump!
jbaby69 0
#14 u r hot! Just sayin.
Betz 10
Bless you, op.
ALLDAY88 8
I would hate too see what he would have done if you farted...and sneezed at the same time.
teyyoshi 19
he doesnt want to lick your snot while teasing