Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

Silver linings

Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML

Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML

Self-esteem issues

Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

Noooooo

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said, "Noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via a forwarded text before I could tell her how I felt. FML