Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Today, I told my mom that my wife and I got her a birthday present, but she won't be getting it until April. That instantly pissed her off, cussing us out calling us cheap worthless selfish bastards. I was about to surprise her that she's finally going to be a grandma. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My grandma gave me a hug and a check after wishing me a happy birthday and walked away giggling. I was excited because it was the only gift I had gotten all day. Ten minutes later, I realized that it was actually just my tax refund. FML
Today, it's my birthday. It's also the day of my grandmother's funeral. I spent most of my 21st birthday in a cemetery. FML
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Top comments
djgoreo 12
"**** you gran"? For what exactly do you intend to use your first birthday condom, sir?
User57777 13
Troll Grandma!
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Comments (60)
InfamousLastWord 9
I mean if it wasn't true, wouldn't you have just laughed it off? Instead, you get all huffy puffy and say **** you Grandma, like she hit a sore spot or something.
onorexveritas 24
prove that crone wrong!
dr_snow_bear 29
She'll be dead before you. Just smile and think about how nice her funeral will be.
Ani28 10
Just imagine the looks she will have gotten from the cashier when she went out to buy them...
Mister_Triangle 21
I doubt the cashier would give a shit unless she said, "oh, they're not for me; it's my grandson's birthday"
buddy51 23
If OP makes his grammaw pregnant, would her kid be OP's parent or just his uncle or aunt??
buddy51 23
"Bareback only, grammaw, that's the way I roll!"
jondmon91 10
Lighten up, with that attitude grandma is right.
Wizardo 34
Give her a hearty slap on the back, with a baritone laugh and her **** may just fall off from the front...
outoftown 27
How special! Now you can regift it for her birthday ;)
SoultheWolf 19
She was three years late, should've given them to you when you hit 18!