Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year-old son decided to ask aloud, "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and me. It started with, "I love you", and ended with,"You and your brother were mistakes." FML
Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML
Today, I realized how absolutely shitty my family is when my brother brought home his third girlfriend this week. They all smiled in her face, knowing full well my brother is a cheating asshole. Not to mention, she’s pregnant with his kid. I wasn’t allowed to date til I moved out. FML
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Top comments
ohmyword08 0
aww, well you prove them wrong ! :D
jaskyriddims 0
Hi
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Comments (121)
DrunkenValor 0
Call Richard Dawkins, he'll ******* own your family.
pleasedonttellme 0
Hi Chev!!! LOL that sucks for you
PaulieeBooMN 0
Well your name IS chev
allmidnighteyes 11
Please tell me I'm not the only one who's reminded of that scene from Talladega Nights
TheCashMan88 0
Such a shitty movie. Which is expected, considering Will Ferrel is the lead.
Intoxicunt 6
Will Ferrel is the most FAIL actor on the face of the planet. Anything he's in is automatically unwatchable. I love the part in Family Guy where Stewie hits him and yells, "That is NOT funny!"
Intoxicunt 6
You're right, I don't. Back in MY day, we liked GOOD actors. Like Johnny Depp, for example. And Rose McGowan. But I guess you kids just like them damn curly-haired uggos, don't ya? I'll never understand these fads.
null_fml 11
Johnny Depp is back in your day?! I must be stuck back in your day too then. :S How do I get out of here?
sameer672 0
i want you to do 2 things: 1. work hard and prove them wrong 2. convert to islam :D
the_stereotype 0
who says he isn't already?
romaunts 0
Woah... uhm... at least they hope you succeed? Sucks that they think you're going to be a failure, though. You might deserve, though, if you've done things to make them believe it. However, your life sucks either way.
dwright595 0
looks like they/you have set the bar pretty low... time to exceed expectations. at least you're in their prayers!
RatIsKing 0
lmfao at #14. and yes other guy I am reminded of that scene in taladega nights, even though I haven't seen it seriously though, FYL OP
himiranda 4
awe. good luck chev ;)
plexico 4
And you show up on FML. God is being harsh on your family by sticking them with bitter disappointment, Chev.