Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my three year old daughter pointed at an African-American girl and yelled out “She’s ugly because she’s black!” Me and my wife got dirty looks for the entire rest of our meal. We have no idea where she learned that. FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML
Today, I was at brunch when I heard a table of women laughing loudly and swearing. I went over and politely told them that their language was unattractive and unladylike. They laughed like hyenas and cussed me out until I walked back to my table. At this rate, I’ll never find a decent wife. FML
Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out, "Well fuck you too." Very awkward silence. FML
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KenMcGormick 0
that's what you get for trying to be smart
Jaywin 3
I did that before when someone thought they were being clever talking mess about me in Spanish. It's a good way to knock someone down a peg.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (498)
ItecKid 0
Karma is a bitch, no? I do it all the time when people talk about me in Chinese. I'm white, so they never see it coming.
jennaleighhh 0
Thats what you get for being an ass.
cthulhu1138 1
Protip: don't talk about anyone unless you're sure they're out of earshot.
newguy90 0
hahaha dude... some of us r clever enough not to get caught :P
justjayit 0
Assholes like you abuse the ability to speak another language. **** you.
qwertyuiop8989 0
Nicely put #3. I couldn't have said it better myself.
crazybe3bshot31 0
haha.. now thats funny. i bet you guys learned ur lesson!!
poppysead1 0
#23 It deff means "go to hell" not "**** you".
drunkrabbit22 0
#3 is the one you insulted, apparently.
thequeenofscots 0
I hate when people do that. It's not witty or smart to assume that the people around you don't speak your language. I've had this happen to me more than I can count (with French, not Swedish) and it always pisses me off. Have the balls to say it to her face if you're so willing to say it right in front of her.