Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Today, I have discovered that my daughter is struggling with anorexia. When I sat down to talk with her about it, she said it’s because, "all the other kids at school keep calling her fat." She was underweight before, and has now gone to being severely underweight. FML
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
Today, my eleven-year-old daughter complained that she has "no serotonin.” I fear what is to come for her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
smallfeetbigtoes 7
Maybe she is getting pre period cramps...
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Don't be daft! It's obviously a razor-sharp lettuce-leaf!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
justahorriblegue 4
I know this sounds inappropriate and we wish so bad for our children to keep their innocence forever; however, I say this respectfully.. maybe you need to have the sex talk with your child... and take her to the doctor.
justahorriblegue 4
The doctor will be able to determine all possible variables. But pointy carrots? C'mon now..
justahorriblegue 4
Sooner the better... you never know if it could be liver damage or appendix rupture or ... yeah in a few months she bleeds for a while and you have to change her sheets and then she doesn't get her period again for another 3 or 4 years due to how ****** up her system got off the first period.
kkows25 10
time for the talk. lol
gatorgirl7563 22
Does she not chew her food or does she somehow swallow those pointy carrots whole?
EnvyMe33 26
Hopefully it's not appendicitis. You shouldn't be so quick to judge or make fun of a child when they tell you the pain they are having.