Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Just a prank, again
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Creepypasta
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Kids are assholes to each other
Today, I have discovered that my daughter is struggling with anorexia. When I sat down to talk with her about it, she said it’s because, "all the other kids at school keep calling her fat." She was underweight before, and has now gone to being severely underweight. FML
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
Fashionable disorders
Today, my eleven-year-old daughter complained that she has "no serotonin.” I fear what is to come for her. FML
Top comments
smallfeetbigtoes 7
Maybe she is getting pre period cramps...
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Don't be daft! It's obviously a razor-sharp lettuce-leaf!
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Comments (74)
Ise_fml 6
So... She could possibly get her period soon
zzarfazas 2
You raised her.
1ninjanina 7
Hopefully, it's just her first period. Mine came before my mother was ready, and it scared me to death. She then explained it to me and my younger sister. I was 12 I think. And now girls get it even younger because of hormones in food.
Bunnyluver 20
Oh yeah, I didn't really see mines coming, age 10, but luckily I has trust worthy friends who were going through it too. Mom found out a month later though.
zaarae 7
she is probably describing it the best she can.
Bunnyluver 20
Maybe she was trying to say it felt like pointy carrots. When I'm having really bad cramps, I can barely get a word out.
kiaora_fml 11
This happened to my 11yr old 6months later she got her period
bonehead69 15
where's the real Doc when ya need him..suggesting cancer is way out in left field on this one. however take her to the dr sheesh cold be something she ate but better safe than sorry
zezili 18
YDI cause you can't be mad at her for not knowing about period pain. It's your responsibility to make sure she knows what she needs to know.
NonibirdFlynn 3
If it's abdominal, check her appendix.
leirua91 15
I got my period with 11 years too. Some girls get it earlier. Talk to her about what happens and hope the other girls don't find out she's so early, they might react in a very negative way, I know it.