Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Today, I have discovered that my daughter is struggling with anorexia. When I sat down to talk with her about it, she said it’s because, "all the other kids at school keep calling her fat." She was underweight before, and has now gone to being severely underweight. FML
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
Today, my eleven-year-old daughter complained that she has "no serotonin.” I fear what is to come for her. FML
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Top comments
smallfeetbigtoes 7
Maybe she is getting pre period cramps...
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Don't be daft! It's obviously a razor-sharp lettuce-leaf!
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Comments (74)
smallandroid 26
Eh, at least she's able to come up with descriptors for her pain? I almost always had trouble describing the pains I felt as a child.
yerawizardlizzy 27
I still do! When I was in the hospital last fall they kept asking me to describe my pain and rate it on a scale from 1-10 and I was like ?????
nativewolf958 5
U should take her to the hospital because carrots can puncture organs and injure her really badly.
vanaathiel 13
Today, my mom made fun of me online about the way I described the pain I've been feeling in my body rather than take me seriously. FML
ThePez828 18
I don't see what the problem is. So what that she described the pain as being like pointy carrots? She's in pain. I hope she feels better soon and that it's nothing serious.
Comrox 19
I don't see what the problem is either. The only "problem" I could see here is OP being upset her child is old enough to be in middle school but is still using "childish" language and descriptions. But that's not a problem... The child is still a child and too many people lack creativity these days. No matter what her age is, she should be able to describe her pain however she wants. Creativity should be celebrated, not condemned.
TabooSushi 24
For a girl her age, could be premenstrual cramping and she just doesn't know what that is, assuming she hasn't had her first period yet. Either way, take that kid to a doctor just to be sure there's not something else going on since the pain is obviously enough to really bother her.
Unenunciable 14
What did she do, eat them whole??? Or does she think the chewed up pieced reunite in her intestines to make a fully formed, really point carrot?
MandieL 27
Pretty sure she used it as a description for the pain. Not that she actually thinks carrots are going to puncture her from the inside.
bornpatriot 11
If you're uncomfortable discussing these things, then perhaps you should direct her towards her mother. Or perhaps any motherly figure she looks up to...
imkittycow 10
YDI for not educating your daughter about her period
saffy66 34
Did it not occur to anyone that maybe she's just describing the pain, and doesn't literally believe there are pointy carrots trying to get out of her body?
soullyfe 33
I do believe from the responses above that most people got that. Unfortunately, a few people missed the memo.
sprouting 13
I thought it was watermelon seeds that you weren't supposed to swallow?!