Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Asshole
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Every day is Caturday
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Bad guy
Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
Anger management
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Drunk MC
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML
Top comments
samsanpoet 0
yeah why cant he be like the dog on the beggin' strips commercial! lazy dog
Insane_Tea 15
Well someone's gotta be put to work. Booze isn't going to buy itself ya' hear.
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Comments (305)
molliconeb 3
well I hope u backed up your dog!
cutie1991 0
you know the economy is bad when your dog cant even get a job...
KiddNYC1O 22
You know the economy is good when even a dog can get a job.
marissakmnn 0
my sister does that to our cat. :/
raedon 0
dog deserved it. lazy bastard just lies around the house all day.
SneakherHead 5
Since he was drunk, he probably thought that he was talking to you lol
theUBERcomment 1
oh Damn.
sassypants93 17
Is the fml that the dad was drunk or that they have a dog too lazy to get a job and support the family?
shithappens2memo 0
16, you made my day.
braveblade74 0
lazy dog needs a job
CallMeHush 1
He thought it was you!
mrtoothpick 11
**** your dog's life.