Cecilly2010
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Las Vegas, United States
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
Anonymous
Mierlo, Netherlands
Asshole
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
paige
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Anonymous
Margate City, United States
Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML
Anonymous
Panama City, United States
Every day is Caturday
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Anonymous
Bad guy
Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML
Deadman
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
FML
Cayey, Puerto Rico
Anger management
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Anonymous
Sundbyberg, Sweden
Drunk MC
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML
Top comments
samsanpoet 0
yeah why cant he be like the dog on the beggin' strips commercial! lazy dog
Insane_Tea 15
Well someone's gotta be put to work. Booze isn't going to buy itself ya' hear.
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Comments (305)
karmicsamadi86 9
Well, good question, why doesn't he have a job?!
Neylin 7
Damn pets. We give them a home, food, PETA, and they refuse to work?
Mortalspirit 4
THEY TOOK ER JOBS
alexiaox 0
hahaha
kiketag 0
this darn dogs ugh.. they come into our homes not speaking the language and lazy as hell ugh i hate them
invicta8926 0
He had that shit coming......damn dog!
FrauFernand 0
get a cat. preferably one like mine, who from time to time steals things. its hilarious because hes black. useless talent, all he ever takes are pens
jbyars4ku 0
literally laughed out loud on this one...classic
faithfulangel 0
omg this made me laugh hella cuz I can totally picture it.
Havin 19
Lol! Funniest one I've read today!