Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Self-defeating move
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Spinning out
Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML
Best foot forward
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Dirty boy
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Spray it loud
Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML
Bad boy
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Well played, you mutt
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
You can probably sell it at some art museum as abstract paintings. ... Profit!
gc327072 31
Coat the walls in menthol. That'll teach 'er!
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Comments (58)
katie_xoxo3 16
Haha omg this is the funniest/grossest fml ever!!
liammcgurl 8
This was mine. Turns out they reword it.
reaxion 25
Well, would you want to lick your own ass clean if you could? I don't blame the dog. Teach it how to use toilet roll or wet wipes :-)
raytyler26 16
Any shitty puns?
sssayesss 5
it sounds like your dog is expressing its anal glands; bring it to the vet or groomer to have this fixed. Dogs will rub their butts on things to attempt expressing the glands themselves; the butt scoot across the floor for instance. What comes out is not pleasant. . .
Jeffy91 28
Maybe your dog just wanted to express herself through drawing for once. After all dogs don't have thumbs, so why not just use a turd like a crayon haha
mesahus 5
Well if you didn't have toilet paper, wouldn't you want to get the. Leftover shit off?
kyla_99 1
Okay I'm sorry I just found this hilarious.. Glad my dog doesn't do that. :)
Gerbilface 2
You're dogs butt itches like everyone's saying might have worms or its anal glands needs to be done have a vet or a groomer do it because if its not done right it could cause infection but just make sure its not worms first. Oh man that must me a mess to clean up! HAHA