me
United States
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
deargodwhy
Throwing shade
Today, my 12-year-old daughter was suspended from school for doing a book report on 50 Shades of Grey. FML
Renzy
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Kulcha
Australia
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Anonymous
Barry, United Kingdom
Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML
bully slayer
Pasay City, Philippines
Today, in the absence of my god-daughter's parents, I went in their place to see her elementary school's principal. She apparently stood up to a known bully's violence and retaliated, sending said bully to the hospital. Not only she may be facing expulsion, I may get sued by the bully's parents. FML
unknown
United States
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
strayking
Rough school
Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML
Anonymous
Steele, United States
Student becomes the master
Today, my son's "favorite" teacher went on a tirade criticizing my "awful" parenting. About two months ago, my son got her fired after he reported her to the principal for forcing him to miss out on lunch to finish a project. Apparently, that wasn't the first time she did something like that. FML
Anonymous
Whack-a-Mole
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
emily ann
Evil will always win
Today, I was suspended from school for “being involved in a fight.” The other girl beat me up while I didn't do anything to defend myself, for fear of getting in trouble. She got off scot free. FML
Top comments
Domo_Arigato7 3
I love your kid, lol.
Sockmonkey_Ninja 0
haha gangster daughter. as long as she isn't mugging other kids of their milk cartons she'll prolly grow out of her violent stage.
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Comments (258)
skyeyez9 25
I never did like Dr Suess books.
perdix 31
I would beat you with a book I would claw you with a hook I will smack you with a bat I will smother you with my fat I could set your hair on fire I could choke you with piano wire I'll kill you, I don't give a damn Just get outta my face, Sam-I-Am From the unabridged version of "Green Eggs & Ham"
underpaid011 0
best comment ever!
Hockeyboy4280 18
Win
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Where can I get this book, #28? :D
MarineWifey88 3
Hahahaha, that's awesome.
IWABO2_ 0
I.love.your.comment.
dannodavis 0
You just made my entire week perfect. This was by far, the most amazing thing I have read/seen in a very long time.
OvenproofToast 0
But don't you like them ? They are moldy and nutritous but yet they are still delicious said Sam-I-Am . I said no .My gun went blam.
blondeandhot 0
that is an impressive comment but how long did you take to come up with it?
perdix 31
Thanks, blondeandhot. That just came out of me in about three minutes. I made it up as I typed. I was just inspired!
schadenfreude26 0
HA!
Rainbowjumper0 12
LMFAO! you're a genius :')
Fuckedyourlifean 0
You are a genious!
shacoria 0
You're the one that's raising her. She learned that behavior somewhere
amazinggbaby 2
But not necessarily from her, and it's not like she can prevent her daughter from being exposed to any sort of negative behavior.
guppy40000 0
28 comment you rock lol. i loved it. lady teach your kid that violence doesnt solve anything, tell her to use her words, like comment 28 thats awesome.
mapleleafs34 0
#28: you seriously made my day to op: where did she learn to be violent? better yet, where did she learn that it's ok to hit someone else? must have been from the way you raised your little brat. ydi.
Doortje 30
Tell her to use a thicker book next time. Dr. Seuss can't do much damage.
Attica 20
I have a combined collection of Doctor Seuss books and it's like two inches thick, so you never know XD
sourgirl101 29
Dr. Seuss kicks ass! One fish,Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish Best book out of all of them!(:
Alienkiller 0
may be a dictionary
setheroni 4
I'd say Dr. Seuss uses pretty good grammar.. I mean he DID have to graduate from medical school..
maybaybe 0
Smart child you got there :)
KikiThePug 0
....Well, you never know what happened. Maybe the other kid started it by saying," Yo, b****! Gimme dat book or I'll kick yo lil' ass!" Then your kid said," Hell nah! You want it?" *beats up other girl with book". Eh, kids are being exposed to too much violence these days.
lil_lala209 5
your kid is a SAV!!!