Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML
Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
Parent-"That poor tree has been in tree heaven for a while dear."
chrstygrl06 10
LEAVE THE TREE ALONE!!
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Comments (124)
bachmed 0
your daughter is a retarded 16 year old
someblackguy 3
haha maybe she was just having a really awsome trip off of somthing
Koolgirl15 0
.. Wtf... Slap her
RissaLynne 8
Is she blonde?
newburton13 26
Well, this is when it's time to send her to military school. Because all she needs to know there is who not to shoot at.
Cowgirl9999 8
Don't have anymore kids :)
WorstLifeLiver19 0
How is this a FML?
alex2300 6
These are getting lamer and lamer....FML.
Anumayis 34
probably on her period.. stuff like that happens then.
zomgbies 17
that kid is a special kind of stupid. and OP, be proud, you raised it