Today, my dad threw out all my food because a fly landed on a loaf of bread still in its package. He claims the bread and everything else that touched it is "contaminated". That was all the food I had for the rest of the month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, we have a fruit fly infestation again because my roommate keeps buying fruit and letting it rot on the counter. Despite the moldy fruit being covered in flies, she insists it's my fault because I left an empty bottle of beer out. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML
Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
I’m sorry that your dad’s a moron, but you better show him a food bill and have him buy you back EVERY LAST ITEM that he tossed.
WHSKitty4ever 23
Make Dad get all the groceries from now on. Then (hopefully), he won’t want to waste food anymore.
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Comments (15)
MidnaLink 35
I’m sorry that your dad’s a moron, but you better show him a food bill and have him buy you back EVERY LAST ITEM that he tossed.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Time to turn your parents' house into a restaurant! That old adage that "I don't run a restaurant around here" will no longer apply. Also, I just have to say that I love the Halloween look/theme on this page! :D
WHSKitty4ever 23
Make Dad get all the groceries from now on. Then (hopefully), he won’t want to waste food anymore.
RichardPencil 32
Why isn’t your dad buying you your food? If you buy your own food, he could be charged with theft.
snake_gal 8
umm, some people do still move out of their parents house these days!
Chloe555_fml 27
Great excuse to have him buy you groceries.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
take his wallwt and call it contamination insurance
im_teekay 7
And then he bought you more food?
BeachMammal 8
What will he do when a fly lands on himself? Experiment with that. ;)
chosha_fml 27
Obviously he should be replacing the food, but also if he genuinely thinks a fly on the outside of a bread bag contaminates the bread and all the food around it, he might need medication for OCD or something similar. Though it does make me wonder, how did every item of food you had for the rest of the month touch the bread after the fly landed on it?
Sinshine 28
He threw out your stuff, he buys it back for you.