Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
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Top comments
Jeffler 0
To be fair, thats awesome news.
JohnnyChris 0
he. probably used it as a reason to call u. that's cool that he thought of u. but he should go visit u instead.
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Comments (51)
eety 0
hahah agreed/
lululovesmusik 0
lol omg i wish that waas my dad.... hahahhaha
ti3n_t 0
now that is what you call effin MANLOVE.
CarterColbie 4
No it was the fact that he'd call to tell her she couldn't care less about.
smoochiepooh213 0
Ummm thats kind of WEIRD. Does you dad like her or something? Did you like her when you were growing up?
gader 3
He loves you and would here ur voice anyway. FYL ******
Arch27 27
Phone works both ways, you know.
manuwish 9
why don't you visit him?
manuwish 9
go visit him op..he obviously misses you and doesn't know how to say it