Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML
Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jeffler 0
To be fair, thats awesome news.
JohnnyChris 0
he. probably used it as a reason to call u. that's cool that he thought of u. but he should go visit u instead.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
dana212121 0
http://vampirefreaks.com/?r=3543133
Sakke 4
Just why is this FML in the 'love' category?
ravenissothat 0
LAWLZ.
FlicSmartLizzy 0
She did?D:
ActionManly 11
A few weeks? Holy shit there hasn't been any celebrity news for that long?!
ksnso 0
http://tinyurl.com/yc8se6v
HJB 0
I didn't realize that phones only worked one way...
Professor59 2
It's his way of reaching out. He's trying to talk to you about something you care about. Nice job, bimbo.
lameshow 0
I want him to be my dad. can you hook that up??
dramakat11 0
LOL! Made me laugh so hard. That's silliness.