Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, my crush invited me to her house and I ended up meeting her dad. Then she suddenly had to dash off because her boyfriend, whom I had no idea existed, unexpectedly had free time so they were going on a last minute date, which left me awkwardly sat there in the kitchen with her dad. FML
Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML
Today, I went to the store in the most awful looking pyjamas possible, ran into my crush, and he looked at me up and down and laughed. FML
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Top comments
alissa_roar 6
Your parents allow random crushes of yours to spend the night at their house? I'm guessing you're an adult living in your parents' house.
saIty 17
Wearing clothes and acting like a normal person is too mainstream.
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Comments (62)
DocBastard 40
What kind of parents allow their kid's crush to spend the night and then strut around naked like chickens to embarrass the **** out of them? Awesome ones.
TheDrifter 24
You TOLD your parents to act "normal"? Sorry girl, that's not how the system works. This was entirely predictable. On a side note, you take random guys you've been crushing on back to your parents house to get freaky?
JOcoco 14
What if she's a lesbian?
RedPillSucks 33
Does it say that OP is female?
WritingWrongs 8
Predictable?? Naked chicken-struttimg was the last thing I would have thought this fml ended with!
DawnShadow_fml 5
Where does it say there was any intention of "getting freaky"
DawnShadow_fml 5
I. don't see why everyone's assuming they were gonna have sex.
outoftown 27
Gives a whole new meaning to "What's the matter with Kansas?"
BubbleGrunge 18
If she's got a sense of humor, she'll laugh it off. Hopefully she didn't have much time to worry about your family, if you were "entertaining" her properly! :)
alwayswinning123 7
Sounds normal to me
RoboCunnilingus 23
They ARE acting normal though. Like a normal chicken. Anything else would have just been strange.
rattusrattus 19
Normal chickens aren't bald. They are coated with feathers.
RedPillSucks 33
Not when you're about to eat them.... Wait,... What?
rattusrattus 19
You eat your parents?!
doglover100 29
Chickens aren't normal
My3sons 3
What can you expect if your old enough to have a girl spend the night, but you still live with your parents? Maybe its their way of telling you to get out.
cutiepie292929 18
Why would u want to be naked with your own parents or any parents :-S
SpikyG 3
That normal for most parents. That their saying of "please do not tell us how to act normal"?