Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
Today, my boss thought it was funny to fire me by putting on dark sunglasses and saying "You have been terminated" in a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML
Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
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Top comments
DKjazz 20
"Nazi accent"? Nazi isn't a dialect or a language. It's a political group. What does a libertarian accent sound like, I wonder?
defferwa 9
Mein god!
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Comments (87)
gregkingsley 4
It was probably your hitler mustache that took the cake.
Mr25_fml 14
I guess you did Nazi that coming. Funny? No? Oh well..
Trisha_aus 15
No, sorry. Next time :)
kofeinisti 6
It was kind of funny the first time, mildly amusing the second and downright irritating the third time...
perdix 31
Actually, you can take Accent Reduction classes, so there is a way to change the way you speak. You shouldn't have to take them, though. This smells like a lawsuit. When they have merit, lawsuits are about justice and are not just a money grab.
gracehi 33
I don't think OP should get rid of his accent. He can likely get his job back if he makes enough fuss. And German accents sound beautiful when speaking English. It sounds very melodic rather than rough, the way one might expect it to sound.
3rdbass 9
Its not like you pounded the table and gestured wildly with your hands when chitchatting in the break room on a daily basis right?
organolithium_fml 9
XD I just imagined the scene "I JUST SAW THE LAST EPISODE OF ***: IT WAS EXTREMELY FUNNY BUT SAD AT THE SAME TIME!!!!"
resplendencerino_fml 3
sue for blatant racism
OhDearBetrayal 25
That is not racism, my friend. Racism is showing discrimination towards a race, which is defined as grouping a set of people together based solely on their skin color. German is not a skin color.
organolithium_fml 9
Racism isn't solely based on skin color nowadays. It can also apply to the country of origin, beliefs, language ect...
OhDearBetrayal 25
Shoot. I guess the definition my human geography teacher gave was wrong or has been modified since.
gracehi 33
I think it's not technically racism. I think it's nationalism, since German is a nationality not a race. But I could be wrong.
perdix 31
Maybe you should try to go into the soup business. Or grammar.
SLRfan 4
Sue that bitch!
Officiency 4
All Germans are Nazis tho
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Couldn't he get in trouble for that? I mean that's false accusation and plain discrimination/racism. Don't let that go, OP.
lambda_fml 40
We all living in Amerika, Coca-cola and Wonderbra...