Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker has once again called in and asked me to cover her shift. She does this for every single one of her shifts, and my boss told me that if I don’t cover it, I’ll be fired. I used to have a life, but not anymore. FML
Today, I had to cover for a coworker who didn't turn up for work. He's always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again, so I said to my colleagues, "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML
Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML
Today, my coworker, who constantly no-shows, ranted to me about his work hours being reduced. He somehow doesn't realize that he's the problem. We're understaffed as of now, so they can't fire him, and I have to be there constantly to make up for him being a lazy ass. My days off have been few and far between. FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML
Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me four times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift two days in a row, because apparently that's "insensitive" of me. FML
Today, exactly 19 seconds after I logged on, my boss Zoom-called me to let me know 3 people are out sick, probably until Monday, so if I wouldn’t mind doing their work as well so we don’t fall behind, within working hours, no overtime available. He wasn’t happy when I told him no. FML
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Top comments
subhaan786 19
Surely your manager or whoever isn't dumb enough to fall for someone saying they're in a coma? Like if they're the ones calling in I mean?
theladygamer 10
Seems like your coworker is a special kind of stupid.
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Comments (101)
Siettadulce 21
I think your coworker might want to do some more research into his excuse.
reneetlovesyou 30
He put more thought into it than "A family member just died." There are so many FMLs about that horrid excuse.
cakefete2 31
So true. One week it's "RIP grandma". The next week, "I need the day off, my grandma has a doctor's appointment".
JBChristian 47
We all have two grandmas you know. Dead or alive. Except for incest victims of course, what am I thinking?
reneetlovesyou 30
I have 3. I consider my step-grandma a grandparent, so technically you can have 4 I guess. And I don't see how it relates, but it goes the same for incest victims.
22milesaway 13
Explain your co-worker's excuses to your boss. The problem will solve itself.
jack_jill05 14
to get him fired? its no different than when someone calls in "sick" to hang out with their kids or whatever and asks you to cover their shift. Maybe OP should just tell him to tell the truth..
PresidentNorth 16
I'm glad you took a different perspective to it #23. good to see more creativity amongst people.
QueenofWheels 13
He said coma. This guy is to stupid to have a job
Garrison21 11
You should have told him that if he didn't show up for work you would put him in a real coma
mattrd_fml 31
F his life for being such a dumbass.
mrwilsong 6
How did this idiot get hired in the first place??
justdiebitches 19
I laughed so hard at OP's name.
Littlebrraatt 14
so did I!!!
RedPillSucks 33
He's definitely in a coma if he thinks that bonehead excuse will work.
WhoopteDo 26
let him know that you're currently sedated for your upcoming surgery and unfortunately, can't cover his shift.
martin8337 36
I wonder how one dials a phone while wearing a straight jacket.:-)
QueenofWheels 13
That's for crazy people not stupid people. Stupid people get to run around free.
Sakuraashita 15
Tell your boss, then tell your co-worker that after your boss heard about this tragedy he/she decided to give your co-worker "permanent unpaid leave" to "cope" with this personal crisis.