Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
Today, I woke up in a good mood, and I excitedly shared with my mom that I was in a "wonderful mood." Her response was to yell at me because she’s "had it with my fucking sarcasm." She refuses to believe I wasn’t being sarcastic. Day ruined. FML
Today, I got a text from a cousin thanking me for always being nice to her. Bear in mind that this “cousin” basically bullied me as a child, all while I looked up to her. She’s gone through a very rough time recently, so I thought she'd sent me someone else’s text by mistake and I told her so. She replied, “No.” FML
Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
Today, I sent a love letter I'd written meant for my crush to a friend so she could evaluate my prose before I actually sent it to him. For some reason, my emotions got the best of me, and I mistakenly CC'd my mom. She replied with three crying-with-laughter emojis. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML
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Top comments
saba_ajira 29
Oh damn... Time to explain some things OP
thisiswilli_fml 5
Sounds like you guys will have an awkward moment during Christmas parties this year.
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Comments (90)
PancakeSlap 23
Your family game night will never be the same. Best of luck, op.
band_geek 18
Hate to sound mean if it does come across that way, but..... You should've asked if they were being serious or sarcastic as an extra safety measure BEFORE replying back with sarcasm.
jbgotswag 2
your a lucky man, a pussy is a pussy, and beside the complications with of offspring, have sex with your cousin is like having sex with anyone else.
driinkbleach 18
So we should all have sex with our mothers and sisters too? You are sick bro
Forever1218 10
Are you from the south?
yesrod 4
Arkansas?
RayneWolf13 15
it has to be Arkansas... lols
MzZombicidal 36
OP's from the UK.
uarudeassbitchyo 17
What is it about incest these days ????
SasquatchDeluxe 10
As they say, "incest isn't so bad, as long as you keep it in the family." Relatively speaking, of course.
KoolKidKarson 3
I think what matters is is she your cousin by marriage or is it family. Second thing is how hot is this cousin. I don't care if she's family I've done stuff with one of my first cousins. She is so hot and the best part I got her virginity over any other guy. So if she is hot enough and cool enough then go it
VoodooPriestess 16
Just putting this out there, but you realize doing stuff with your first cousin is incest, right? That the genes are close enough to be like a half sister? I wouldn't go around and brag about that.
JoseIsAdork 31
that will make an interesting story for the family reunions...
pwrofoz 5
um is ur cuzn hot at all jw, if jennifer Lawrence was my cuz and she had a crush on me i think i would give in to that......but insest is bad.......FYL good luck