Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a mass message on WhatsApp from my extended family about my cousin’s engagement. Trying to be funny, I replied, “Wow, can’t wait to see how long this one lasts.” I thought I was sending it to my brother. Only my brother. I sent it to the whole family group. Including my cousin. And her fiancé. FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
Today, I woke up in a good mood, and I excitedly shared with my mom that I was in a "wonderful mood." Her response was to yell at me because she’s "had it with my fucking sarcasm." She refuses to believe I wasn’t being sarcastic. Day ruined. FML
Today, I got a text from a cousin thanking me for always being nice to her. Bear in mind that this “cousin” basically bullied me as a child, all while I looked up to her. She’s gone through a very rough time recently, so I thought she'd sent me someone else’s text by mistake and I told her so. She replied, “No.” FML
Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
Today, I sent a love letter I'd written meant for my crush to a friend so she could evaluate my prose before I actually sent it to him. For some reason, my emotions got the best of me, and I mistakenly CC'd my mom. She replied with three crying-with-laughter emojis. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML
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Top comments
saba_ajira 29
Oh damn... Time to explain some things OP
thisiswilli_fml 5
Sounds like you guys will have an awkward moment during Christmas parties this year.
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Comments (90)
saba_ajira 29
Oh damn... Time to explain some things OP
GodPart2 20
I'm still trying to understand how a love message can be sarcastic... and especially to a cousin??
RedPillSucks 33
I keep your picture upon the wall. It hides a nasty stain that's lying there. So don't you ask me to give it back,. I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me. I'm not in love. No, no.
\ 28
Using sarcasm over text isn't usually detectable... I'm surprised OP even got it
bubblyhayley 16
seriously there are a lot of ppl on fml with relatives who have inappropriate feelings for them!! :/
NeatNit 33
actually this is the opposite, it's a false positive for sarcasm.
lincolnkite 6
George Michael
jay05_fml 4
Really though what is up with all the incest on fml
anonymous5101 11
And this must be the girl who loved the fact that her boyfriend looked like her cousin!!
Palirose 22
To everyone talking about this FML. a lot of places in the world accept being with your cousin and is not considered incest.
johnpaisley 6
The birds the bees and the people from Alabama
feven 32
OP should have said lol after his messages
buckerado 19
#84- You're completely right. Some people marry their second or third cousins to keep the land in the family. Then again, first cousins getting married or even dating is very rare. In this case, it is very strange that the cousin feels like that... Hopefully the cousin is young and/or just continuing a long joke.
parism143 28
My grandparents are first cousins on both sides. My uncle and his wife are first cousins. In Iran, where I'm from, it's not at all out of the ordinary. My relatives have tried to set me up with my second cousin so many times its insane.
incoherentrmblr 22
Is OP male or female, and what degree of cousin is she?...
the_real_dvd 21
#91, of the states that allow cousin marriage, most are northern and/or progressive.
lwonderful 11
I think it's time to explain ll
Rizzen 27
are you a parrot or something? way to repeat #1
whiteboy896 9
polly want a cracker?
Kyuzomi 12
The comment has a ll thing right next to it making it seem like she meant "2". So they might have been confused by that.
MzZombicidal 36
#54, I assumed she meant "lol"
lwonderful 11
You're all dicks I didn't even see #1's comment
Ziggyboo 10
@2 You really should edit it in the future. Like this. EDIT: I just saw #1's comment. Sorry about that!
askingandy 23
There's kinda a time limit on that. And if there's no other comments at the time she was typing, why would she check if someone else happened to say the exact same thing?
saba_ajira 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Guys she obviously just copied me comment because she strives to be like me.
54754N4 14
@128 & @1 way to go on getting most up votes and down votes haha
thisiswilli_fml 5
Sounds like you guys will have an awkward moment during Christmas parties this year.
Welshite 40
Hide all the mistletoe.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Hide the wine from her too. That way there'll be no "it was the alcohol...sorry I kissed you" excuses.
RedPillSucks 33
I think OP may want some sort of excuse.
NightHawk387 22
OP had better steer clear of the mistletoe.
Kamon97 23
Stay the hell away from the mistletoe then :S
negb 30
OP, don't be at the family New Years party when the clock strikes 12
aire101 16
This is probably not one of those stories you want your family to tell at every family event for the next 20 years.
misspulkadot24 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cousin Lovin', happened so faasst. Hey, if Danny can do it, you can too. Wait...that's not how the song goes?
Rainhawk94 27
Boooo
RileyTheCoyote 6
I laughed at this..
laylarose1396 7
Well then you're dumb. Just sayin.
iAlissa 34
Really, 95?
LunaArgentum 3
Haha, well at least now you know.
doglover100 29
Christmas will be awkward.
warehouse_rat 8
It depends, is she hot? Family game of footsie just got turned into foreplay
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
97- It doesn't "depend if she's hot" that's OP's cousin. That's gross.
warehouse_rat 8
lol #110 and all other down voters im sorry that you cant detect scarcasm like the op cousin
jococo7787 3
No, we can't detect sarcasm, so you have to put sarcasm inside parentheses after your comment so we know.
RoyalAss 1
they say a family should love eachother but this goes a little too far.
onlychildFTW 34
I think they draw the line when family starts making love with each other. Haha.
phew_fml 21
Not going too far at all, in a lot of cultures cousins are actually allowed to get married.
vipirius 18
That doesn't make it any less disturbing or gross, 83.
SammyS2012 21
disturbing and gross are subective views. you may think it's gross but the cultures, and there are actually many, who allow cousins being together do not find it weird or disturbing, but find it normal
uoeno_fml 20
Kissin cousins
StzaCrack666 18
or doing it cousins lol
macelonel 26
This sounds like a porno
Kibaruto 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for replying with more love lines.
askingandy 23
Someone seems to have never heard of a joke, nor be any fun.
Rizzen 27
cant wait for the awkward family reunion ;D