Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my younger cousin bought his girlfriend of 3 months a bunch of flowers. The only flower I've ever got from my boyfriend of 3 years is a plastic one he found on the floor in a bar. FML
Today, I got offered a free $80 salon haircut by a girl I've liked for awhile. Thinking this was my chance to get close to her, I accepted, only to find out it was for a class her boyfriend was teaching. He was the one cutting my hair. FML
Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
Today, my cousins and I were walking past bars, choosing one go to. I recently got my hair cut short and thought it was cute. A little boy walking beside us looked at me and said, "Are you a boy?" His mother shushed him and said, "No dear, she's just flat-chested." FML
Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML
Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML
Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML
Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML
Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML
Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA!!! Epic WIN!
Rauron 0
lolwut Are flowers the new hanky code?
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Comments (188)
Jessaly_fml 0
I want to meet this cousin :D
McLaughlane 0
LOL aww I'm sorry, that's so mean...but you've gotta laugh that shit off. FYL ;)
rinnychan 2
That's the cutest thing I've ever heard! Woulda been cuter if he was five though.
Xero3g 5
I'll take your advice the next time I'm in Hawaii. Mmm... cute foreign girls...
MeleMallory 0
I hope you're not from the US. But if you are, and you think Hawaii is foreign...*facepalm
Awesomesaurus 0
No, I'm sick of this. I hate how everything has to ******* mean something now. Staight guys can't get their right ears pierced because it somehow means they're gay. 12 year old girls can't wear those stupid rubber bracelets anymore because now they mean sex stuff and the girl will be acused of being a little ****. And now, a girl can't walk down the street with a flower in her hair without getting hit on. WHAT IF IT JUST LOOKED NICE, PEOPLE?!?! OP, you deserved this because you're acting as part of what's destroying self expression.
cyaneyedangel 2
this is the best comment ever!
dcubed121 0
why do we need to know if someone is available in advance. you could, you know, ask the person. is it really that hard?
Tori_xoxo 0
Lol :l..
satinslippers 0
How can you be more available? You can be more desperate but you certainly can not be more available than available.
alyren16 0
#35 Only immature people think that. And obv. you seem to care what they think. Who the hell cares if a 12 year old is wearing coloured plastic braclets. I haven't heard of that stuff since I was like, 10. 6 years ago. So you can stop over thinking this shit and move on and do your own thing. =]
Night22_fml 4
Get that there palmer-tree jiggy-ma-jig and shove it right up his ass, and shout "This'll learn ya!"