Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I was babysitting my four year-old cousin when she asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no, and she responded, “Oh. That makes sense.” I’ve been emotionally defeated by someone whose favorite word is “poop.” FML
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML
Today, my aunt informed me that my cousin's only problem with his girlfriend is that she's not me. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
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Top comments
stangbang92 17
I to ask people a question twice before I let them answer.
james_logan 19
Maybe they're imaginary?
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Comments (81)
stangbang92 17
I to ask people a question twice before I let them answer.
BestOrginalName 22
To be honest, I completely read the FML with only one "if he had a girlfriend." I guess my brain just interpreted it as a normal sentence without any repeats.
tupe_fml 15
*too
HeyPeople13 16
Too**
TheKingOfHearts 19
Too*
MikaykayUnicorn 36
Okay 29 & 34, we get it. Shut the **** up.
Mynamewontfi 40
2*
PePziNL 20
Yes a lot of people don't see the the error in these kinds of sentences.
AviShtap 20
Yeah, 57, they they really don't.
vh_musiclover 16
Talk about an early bloomer!
james_logan 19
Maybe they're imaginary?
Welshite 40
Don't you dare call boobies imaginary! What is wrong with you?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Not imaginary, just that they live in Canada and can't come visit whenever other people ask for proof of their existence.
Twisted_Killjoy 23
Fuckboi: the early stages...
smxiricky 23
well I don't know well I don't know what to say. Too much crap on TV that's why kids are messed up at a young age...
SecundusSecunda 27
The kid is like that because he is like that Just because someone watches TV or plays video games doesn't mean they'll become mass killers or have multiple girlfriends
BrotherPhil 35
Get off my lawn! Now where did I put my prune juice?
mattyiscool123 26
Not always tv, internet
will968 15
What What?
tyler_the_asiann 16
Atta boy
amileah13 26
He must be doing something right!
JohnnyKade 25
Don't know why you're getting downvoted, this comment is priceless.
interesting33 37
Because this is a 7 year old child who is thinking about breasts and other people as simply valuable because of sex appeal. That is not doing something right.
moocowmilk0 19
this kid is going places
Tripartita 45
Like on a list of the ten douchiest guys some poor gal will have the misfortune of dating. This list will likely be published to her blog and receive many retweets or something.
allie2590 31
Like divorce court.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
He's going places alright. Like Maury's.
LMF4 7
not college, but places
emeraldisle 30
Damn he knows what's up! lol
EvilLittleMan 23
Multiple choice: A. ( . )( . ) B. ( @ Y @ ) The obvious answer is B for Big and Boobs.
URBeingLied2 23
But what if A has a better personality?
Tripartita 45
I don't know if I'd be willing to pass up the opportunity to learn how somebody got two Unicode @ symbols for areolae.