Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML
Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML
Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML
Today, at my job as a waiter I sharted myself while taking an order. They tipped me $20 and wrote "for new underwear" on the receipt. FML
Today, I found out that I accidentally returned a customer her $147 check she had written out to pay for her groceries and receive cash back. The lady got free groceries and money, and I'm now losing my job. FML
Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML
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Top comments
Idonebeenhad 17
How'd it taste?
mattmadden 0
A brain...
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Comments (192)
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
how much did your co-worker charge? can you give me the number please?
Chellykins08 5
That made my day :)
Wheredidgrungego 12
Newsflash: Prostitution is illegal! Way to be OP.
TheSithAssassin 15
Prostitution is not illegal everywhere and besides that point I believe you still missed something here.....
pan1cked 0
newsflash: she probably didn't prostitute herself.
foxman47 3
newsflash: it was a guy
youshitme 9
Prostitution isn't illegal everywhere, some places you even have to declare tax on income received from activities such as swallowing. You've missed the point though, his friend did it as a joke. Newsflash: You're a boring git with no sense of humour!
pieintheface 0
that's... thats... JIZZTASTIC!!
marix54888 0
It coulda been jitz. You know like that white stuff on the table in the lunch room. :P
HomeAl0ne 20
Just deposit it in the box at the night safe at the bank. The check I mean.
heatherewf 0
yes or the ATM. who goes inside banks anymore?? lol
mismonroe 0
My mother taught me it was rude to spit.
DCFan 9
very true. I'm glad you have manners =)
mismonroe 0
I do, I do.
MissFukMyLuck 0
classy.....
mismonroe 0
As classy as it gets on an online forum.
meade34 2
haha smart mother
johlmann 0
you and your mom are awesome!
isac1234 0
my momma taught me to say hoe
mismonroe 0
Aww such naughty words for a little boy! Shame on your mommy.
lilykgillett 0
Boo! you *****!:)
fylnotmine89 1
mismonroe- we need more of you in Tampa! lol
rj091210 0
I like ur mothers idea.
PhilMcHawk 7
¿Como están, bitches?
BayouBoy21 0
you're hot
LA_ANGELS36 0
haha, that makes u a prostittute
BB_ava 0
haha, shut up.
rattusrattus 19
Say you swallowed a martini with a toe instead of an olive, and the money was a bet pay-up.
DeLpHe3zY 7
they will sure be giving you weird looks at the bank :p
MeRcixXxTRiPp 0
I got a check for "last night's special services" $250 I let a friend borrow for his rent -_-
TheSithAssassin 15
I hope you cashed with a smile and said "I gave my friend a discount, I usually charge more."