Today, at my job as a waiter I sharted myself while taking an order. They tipped me $20 and wrote "for new underwear" on the receipt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML
Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML
Today, while I was working as a waitress, I had to wait on a table of 13 people. I was struggling through it and when they finally left I went by the table to pick up my tip. Instead of a money I got a napkin saying, "Here's your tip, don't be a waitress." FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
That's a pretty chill customer, right there. At least they were supportive.
Levi2411 41
You were so charming they wanted to help you get the shit out your pants! You should feel honored.
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Comments (12)
JasonThorn 23
That's a pretty chill customer, right there. At least they were supportive.
Levi2411 41
You were so charming they wanted to help you get the shit out your pants! You should feel honored.
Cali 57
Is that a shit ticket?
Glowworm56 27
Hey, that's not all that bad actually. You got a nice tip and some fresh underwear out of it.
Charlie Given 28
LOL glad to see I'm not the only one who has shit themselves right in the middle of helping customers,tho I wasn't so lucky to have a great customer like that, nope they tried to have me fired and I had to pull the I'm disabled with Crohn's disease card to keep my job at the time I feel your pain.😏
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Hey, a $20 tip is awesome! I guess that's the secret to getting good ones - just shart yourself. :D
RichardPencil 32
Great customers! Not only did they spring for a very fancy pair of drawers, they powered through their meal despite your shit smell.
BrookieB 13
What was ur reaction?”oh shit”
Davros 12
You could have scraped them out if you had a poop knife.
baby4mommy 27
Underwear? Maybe a package of adult diapers might be a safer investment