Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put him outside. Unhappy with the situation, he leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile-vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML
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Top comments
CitrusGirl 0
That cat's a pussy.
aryan_chris 0
Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...
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Comments (296)
misterjez 15
lmao nice
QueenPersephone 9
This made me laugh. When I first read the fml I thought 'If only he had toasted just one piece'.
brt3420 13
I'm sorry but I actually laughed at this a lot. I don't like cats but it sucks it died but it's a cat so I laugh
scivolare 1
oh my goodness I'm so sorry! now I feel bad everytime my kitties get scared. need to go hug them now.
yeppers6502 0
I honestly don't understand how this is an FML.
Doortje 30
His/her cat DIED, you moron.
thelastavailable 13
OP is a selfish git for thinking about their own sorry life when the poor cat has just snuffed it.
AllieTheAwesome 0
omg that was awesome!! (") (x.x) (")
i_wuz_nver_here 31
win.
enoughgrace 4
that was a great comment #17.
hahayousucks 3
thats more funny than a fml