Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML
Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be alright, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML
Today, I did a pregnancy announcement with my boyfriend and our families. My boyfriend acted happy until we were driving home, then claimed I pressured him with witnesses, started to cry because he doesn’t want kids, and by the end was begging me to give it up for adoption. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML
Today, I turned down my boyfriend's proposal because I'm pregnant and I told him I didn't want people thinking that's why we were getting married. He… did not react well. Yes, he knows that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chris_mates 18
High five to your boyfriend for a fantastic joke!
I_Like_Boobs 14
sometimes the best way to help accept a tough decision is to laugh about it plus it's a really clever joke so I don't think you should over react
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
MajesticRacoon 7
Id be disappointed too...
SAspring 17
Let's see if we can maturely get through this FML without having the comments closed.
lusanna 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Time to work on his pullout game... Or be a big boy and wear a glove
Jumbled_Mess 7
I sincerely urge everyone out there not to "play the pull-out-game" unless you're ready to be a parent. It really isn't a safe method.
_EnderDoge 22
That doesn't work
arano 29
Don't surprise her, plug your geyser.
bobsanction 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Pulling out fails and condoms break.
sweetpotato301 7
Pulling out is actually about 75% effective if you do it right (I know people will just down vote this, but look it up). Though of course most people don't, and it just isn't worth risking.
sylvienoir 18
condoms break a lot less than pulling out keeps a woman from getting pregnant.
klutz44 28
So pulling out is a 1 in 4 chance of making a baby? That doesn't sound like good odds at all.
Bismuth92 11
@#93, no, the odds are given over a 1 year period. So if 100 couples use only that method for a year, 25 of them will get pregnant. For couples using no birth control at all, it is 85%. So, it's not a very good method, but it's much better than you're making it out to be.
DoomedGemini 38
Yes, that's 1/4... 1 out of 4.. You go to the smallest fraction. 25/100 = 1/4.
sonasonic 34
Wow you're lucky you didn't bear the chold of someone this immature and inappropriate.
anormalperson 25
I know, I don't think it'll fit in with the other choldren.
fuzzy1474 5
IDK, seems like he's already got the whole "dad joke" angle nailed down.
RetireEngland 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Child*
bornpatriot 11
Wish I could say that to your mom.
andresmad33 4
stfu i would like to have this guy as a father because no one can pull off a joke that well.
will968 15
A sense of humour in hard times is great it shows he can adapt to stressful situations, so yeah
chris_mates 18
High five to your boyfriend for a fantastic joke!
I_Like_Boobs 14
sometimes the best way to help accept a tough decision is to laugh about it plus it's a really clever joke so I don't think you should over react
hoosiergirl94 31
I agree with you #8, sometimes people make up for grief with laughter. We all cope in different ways
capper44 18
#22 & #31, But it doesn't say anywhere that she didn't like the humor/joke. As all it says is that her bf is mad for not going to be able to tell that joke to anyone. Which btw hats off, was a nice 'comeback'..
swag_bear 18
Don't you mean ovary react?
MarryMeFry 10
*Ovary Act.
Jumbled_Mess 7
Humor is a way to cope as good as any, but I wouldn't want him to share that joke with his friends either. At least some weird people online gets to see it now!
TheTacoMan 24
Oh yeah, good point. She doesn't want him to share the joke with his friends but then posts it on FML to share with unknown crowds of people
MandieL 27
Strangers on the Internet are sometimes easier because of the anonymity.
nix1993 41
#50 I got the impression more that they weren't telling people about the abortion, so the joke wouldn't make sense to anyone. Not that she had a problem with the joke itself.
RetireEngland 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hmm British Colombia probably an uncle or brother , this app used to be funny
writerchic85 26
What does this mean? Because it's British Columbia they must be related? I don't understand your comment.
InfiniteSunshine 32
As a Canadian, I have never heard of British Columbia having an association with incest. Saskatchewan and my province Alberta, yes, but not B.C, they have more of a tree hugging reputation.
confused_wandere 26
You misspelled 'Texas'.
writerchic85 26
At least he is in good spirits about it
Jiratias 36
Well he is supportive and funny, it seems like he is great!