Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
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Top comments
DragonzCreator 3
It just goes to show, guys aren't always thinking about sex.
Psych101 9
Hopefully you learned something. Both about water displacement and how literal your boyfriend is.
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Comments (179)
zinoxity 23
Wait, what? Why would someone even need to learn about water displacement in a bath? Shouldn't it be common knowledge?
MinecraftGeek 8
Not really, there's whole courses about things such as water displacement and other things like density.
domking1315 20
Elementary my dear..
TheApocalypse 5
This FML is actually how water displacement was originally learned... Go look it up.
niall92 6
46 - although you learn the basics of it in elementary there's more to every scientific theory than just that.
Futacy 30
lol, Are you dating Bill Nye?
MinecraftGeek 8
That guy is AMAZING!!!
PinkieKeen 20
I got here from FMLshark's post on that Iguana guy when she mentioned the water displacement person.
l23VIVE 17
Same here
Jiplo 18
#Archimedes
happyapy 16
Eureka!!
harrydoddrell 1
I bet you ended up having fun learning about it tho :p
TurtleSmile 14
Looks like he gotcha!
innavoiG 9
Is OP's boyfriend Sheldon Cooper or something?
Miss_Lisaa 16
It would be soooo cool. Sheldon's the best !
j4gerb0mblitz 6
Looks like she's dating Sheldon
epicskier 3
Did u learn something?
BulldogHoops 14
124- Damn! You were so close. Only three and a half hours late.
ohcheriecherie 20
The best way to learn is to have sex in the tub
Drigr 9
Doesn't matter; had s.... Oh, they didn't? Well what the ****...
missalkali 8
gosh! get it straight!! they did not ****. theres no "whats" about it!!
domking1315 20
Dude chillout... It was a joke
itssnotfunny 24
No it's not? It's noisy and water is splashing everywhere. That's my least favorite place.
Khariau 8
Well that's very interesting !
flutter4 7
It sounds like Sheldon from the big bang theory
Khariau 8
I could say : «hell yeah! Spot on !» But i wasn't making reference to anything. If you want it to be that then ok ^^.
Psych101 9
Hopefully you learned something. Both about water displacement and how literal your boyfriend is.
Dr0reos 8
Well you can never know too much. Plus you could always just have sex after
limblessorphan 4
Well, let's hope he never wants to have hot burnin sex with her then...
christyxbee 15
Not to mention sad if he gave up the opportunity to have sex with his girl.
youjustmademelol 4
Yeah very honest, you can't find many guys like that these days..
DragonzCreator 3
It just goes to show, guys aren't always thinking about sex.
JiggaJayZ 16
I am. All the time. Right now I'm thinking about how sex with a dolphin's blowhole would feel. I haven't made up my mind on if I would like it or not...
DomDomxoxo 16
If a dolphin ever rapes you, you can rape him back (:
badabingbitch 3
This guy
emeraldisle 30
I'm sure if you really wanted to know what it feels like you could find it on the Internet somewhere.
whyusofat 17
Rule 34
AlexM42 5
39- ha ha, your picture is perfect for that comment
TheMathMajor 26
Actually while looking up stuff about instances of homosexuality in other species besides humans I came across something about gay dolphins. They do have blowhole sex. I will never unsee that diagram D:
JOEGERNAUTT 1
Absolutely not! At least 10% of my day I'm thinking of food.
dashizam 10
Hey, at least he's smart!
jijipuff528 8
Well he did say what he meant, so ydi for jumping to conclusions, I guess
kakarot2 11
Yup, complete YDI. I remember another FML just like this one of the guy jumping into conclusions. Now that this is a girl all of the sudden her life sucks? Nope.avi
MrMeaner88 3
I actually went back and read that one. There are 2x as many YDIs and people are all calling him an asshole because "all he thinks about it sex." Definately a gender bias here...
slimshadey 5
Why would you think he wanted to have fun? "Water Displacement" it doesn't even sound sexy
Zomg_Okay 27
You have a very innocent imagination. I should warn you that that won't last long here.
slimshadey 5
Aha my mind is actually dirtier than you think. I personally just don't see this situation as "dirty" or "sexy" xD
Teyros 24
Yeah, zomg totally knows the fml community d:
LadyGore 12
I conquer, intelligence is very sexy.
WearingHats 14
Sex while in water tends to end up lacking lubrication.
jjessen 20
100- that my friend, is false. Note, this fact is based on personal experience.
erikshiz 5
i find this very dirty indeed.
BatemanFML 0
106- you obviously haven't had enough sex underwater. In my opinion, it is extremely overrated and not pleasurable.
Ungazing 7
So you just sat there and listened, right? And how the hell did you think "Water displacement" meant anything close to sex?
Zomg_Okay 27
It's not difficult. If they tried to have sex in the bath, they would inevitably cause water displacement when they got in. With that in mind, it's easy to see how OP could have interpreted the text to mean her boyfriend was horny. You're welcome.
misspulkadot24 17
10- Why is my husband in your profile picture? Erm...this is awkward. Sorry, irrelevant, I know, but I'm just happy to see another Reid fan :)
laden_swallow09 35
Worshiping fictional characters is never healthy.
XtraEzeee 8
Tell that to Noor. *cough cough ezio cough cough*