Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML
Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
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Top comments
dogpup4 23
This really doesn't seem as bad when you don't misread boyfriend as brother. Like I did.
ilovetylerseguin 0
he's a keeper
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Comments (219)
SlipStream93 2
Who dates someone that still has their foreskin? :s
stupdude3 8
So, if you weren't circumcised, you're out of the pussy game for good? That's so stupid.
Kenton1008 21
All men have foreskin, doctors just cut off some of it so the penis doesn't look seriously deformed.
chili10 18
Me
confettifarts 4
I'm engaged to one. I find it quite unnecessary to have it cut off this day and age. It was mostly done for cleanliness way back when. Now it's done for religious purposes mostly. If I have sons, they're keeping their skin.
Dracoboxer357 36
^ I have two sons, neither of which are circumcised, just like myself. And my wife enjoys my penis just the way it is. Tmi perhaps, but true.
chili10 18
If you had asked me two years ago if I would have my son circumcised It would have been an automatic yes. It's just the norm and most people don't put much thought into it. I've heard so many stories of botched circumcision and after having seen one (not trying to give out too much info, sorry of I gross you out) but there really is nothing dirty or gross about it. I can't imagine putting my children through something so painful and unnessessary.
eminarnar 0
Oh shit, his penis is the eye of saoron and your ****** is mordor. So you can just tell him "one does not simply enter mordor" and then just like not have sex with him perfect plan :0
Carlietaz 1
That's funny. Throw a ring on it and see how he likes it.
fredtheturtle 3
Dude thts gross
cuddlebunny3548 11
I
Fylminesawsome 5
Marry that man!!
jonnyr 1
Everyone knows that uncircumcised people are filthy.
Plasmaxyz 5
Everybody knows that circumcised people are just upset that they dont have an option for foreskin. Its the same as a circumcised one and they get the added bonus of being able to retract it. And they are only dirty if the person doesnt understand showers.
Dracoboxer357 36
^ The showers go for anyone's junk, male or female. I don't care if your cut, uncut or pierced: If you don't wash it, it is dirty. Can you say Dick-Cheese? Ick. :p
Dracoboxer357 36
^ *Face slap* You're, not Your. Stupid monkey..... :p (Self correcting. Bleh.)
arvale8802 1
Wow!!!!! I would dump him for flat out immaturity
geko911 22
Well that shows where his brain is...
jlh2283 1
that's hilarious!