Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my husband why his socks are always inside-out in the laundry basket. He replied, "So the insides get clean." FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML
Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML
Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MimE_fml 0
lmfao, nice
mfmylifesrsly 30
tell him your ****** is tight his penis is just too small. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (257)
illmatic2 16
You're boyfriend is a champ.
Cinn_fml 23
Ouch, but he was probably just joking around and didn't really mean to hurt you.
robinluv 0
Dump your boyfriend >.> a guy should never say that
klutzycleo 5
Agreed! ^^
johnnythreetears 2
I think that you're screwed up. I bet you would joke around about a dude having a small **** but the second it goes to joking around about a girl being loose it's now a serious matter. You. Are why society is failing
i_luv_u3030 3
ikr! i totally agree
i_luv_u3030 3
no ur reason why society is failing u just think the opposite gender is only useful for sex
hunteryager 18
261- and you're a dumb ass! =)
Dman1760 0
lol that's funny
wndrfltray 0
ROFLMAOOOOO!!!! that was hilarious
3mi1y_ 16
WIN
xohockeyfreak10x 0
thy was a great comebackk. epic win for himm!
I_have_no_clue 0
Look on the bright side, your looseness will help with childbirth!
Gumbinator 11
fail! ^
CandidateForWax 0
Not true at all. Strengthening the pelvic floor through kegel exercises (which in turn 'tightens' the vaginal area) actually helps with the pain of the later stages in pregnancy and also childbirth, so having a looser ****** can actually make childbirth more difficult.
ant387 0
to be fair he's a funny man
indi80 0
haha hahaha thats so funny.. your bf is witty