Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my husband why his socks are always inside-out in the laundry basket. He replied, "So the insides get clean." FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML
Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML
Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
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Top comments
MimE_fml 0
lmfao, nice
mfmylifesrsly 30
tell him your ****** is tight his penis is just too small. :)
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Comments (257)
MimE_fml 0
lmfao, nice
pertained 12
well...that made us wonder..
pbonline1234 0
agree ******* hilarios
mfmylifesrsly 30
tell him your ****** is tight his penis is just too small. :)
evanizle 0
haha. quit being a ho
wafflez333 0
lol agreed
oakhan34 0
10 win
amerrah 4
hahhaa win. lol
WhyTheFace4 0
*Re-re-comment* Burn!! Stop using forearm sized ******, OP.
vivibeatles 1
#40 is that a reference to another FML? and #10 W-I-N
GROWNsimba 0
dammmm BURN
WhyTheFace4 0
Yea. The one that was about ******...and one being as big as the guys forearm...
Evan071 0
yeah 47 it was, that fml was ****** up, lol
brittneytp 0
10 wins(:
2gether4ever 0
lmfaaoo i laughed so fcking hard !
heynow00wellthen 0
hahaaa looks like your bf has a sense of humor and yooouuu need to loosen up. lol no wait, that's the opposite of what your bf wants. xD
OMGJASMiNE 0
hmmmm see this is why sex is bad yu get loose! good thing I don't do that
PanteraRules 0
You can put those in the dryer?
mfmylifesrsly 30
my ****** doesn't get loose for my boyfriend. or maybe I just have a flexible ****** lol
Loofah_fml 1
99, how do you have a boyfriend? Eww.
sukaaa 0
#64 FTW!
nerdsgetmehot 23
#103 It's pretty unnecessary to dis the appearance of others, especially when you don't have a picture of yourself up. Also, I don't see anything "ew" about #99! Not at all.
Graawr 7
Maybe you should do some kegel exercise?
mfmylifesrsly 30
awww look 103 is calling me ugly again, I guess i have a stalker, cute. shows how insecure you must be to now call me out on my looks more than once, or maybe you're just jealous that I can actually get a boyfriend?
knightknight 0
so true.
imonaboat79 2
pretty risky move by the bf, hilarious one though. he must hate getting laid.
AbsoluteTurtle 0
your boyfriend is a funny guy.
PottentialFML 0
Fml seriously or 100 is actually very pretty same with nerdsgetmehot **** off Mickey go find mini. That is all
OwN3d3d 0
your boyfriend = win
Mmcalz 0
lmfaoooo
Hockeylover87_71 0
win
bzimms 0
I agree wit ir bf
InfiltratedMind 0
99 or your boyfriend has a small penis. I think you oughta submit that."today, my boyfriends penis is so small we've had sex like 500 times and its the same as it was. FML"
TechnoTaco 0
Lol that was a good one, lol And I read that one too 40, lol
EricErection69 0
109 true she's actually really pretty
snapso 0
listen to 110 kegals to tighten that snatch back up
black_knight402 0
109 Some users here don't come here to check out boys/girls, rather they are here for the fml. Therefore, they don't require attention from other users. In fact, that is why some of the display pictures are attractive and are likely to be remembered.
WhoAreYou94 0
ROFLMAO you have to admit it is funny
adins1997 0
PWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hoogyme 0
Your ******'s in the dryer!
dancingxthexmoon 0
that's a dumb reason to use the dryer. what a complete waste of energy, seriously, think green Op you selfish batch of cookies. :( as a tree hugger, I am pissed
mike_from_the_sc 0
50, that was a good. FML
mfmylifesrsly 30
yeah 140, my boyfriends penis is small, explains why I was kind of making fun of them with my first comment. the truth is, every time we have sex it hurts at first, I thought it would just hurt the first or second time, but nope, every time. also he had to buy mega sized condoms because the regular ones suffocated his ****. so no, he doesn't have a small penis AT All. I wouldn't normally 'brag' about my boyfriends **** but you saying it must be small even though I was making fun of small ones is dumb. that is all.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#175 Um. Well that was a little TMI...
drew1978 4
I think it would be no problem for u to get a boyfriend
mfmylifesrsly 30
177 now thinking about it it is lmao my bad
Loofah_fml 1
183, Mexicans have a saying that goes, " Tell me what you brag about, and I'll tell you what you lack,". You don't have to prove any of us, anything. Regardless, most of the people on here will not believe you. No one is interested in your sexual life, so we'd apreciate it, if you kept it to yourself. ;D
fuckingbiglife 6
agreed for the TMI..... and anyway we dont really care about your boyfriend's penis..
Freeze_fml 17
I am not surprised.
kayuri 0
mfmylifesrsly - why do u talk abt ur boyfriend in every post?? im starting to question the truth a lil'..
IronZombie 0
F-his life for having to use your flappy ******.
angrynegro7 16
Sorry OP, but your boyfriend's middle name is win
en1gma_l337 0
guess you should throw your vajayjay in the dryer, no? xD! i joke.
saraa96 0
why did girls go from "duck duck goose" to "**** **** loose"? -__-
LuCanO 0
ROFLMFAO yea, the guy didn't had right to say something like that. Remember kids always respect your girl :)
020266t 5
great idea
Po1ntBlank 0
205 agreed. plus what she said at 10 wasn't a win at all. that's like the lamest comeback ever. basically like saying no ur ugly when someone calls you ugly
xChrista1xx 0
I believe you got 'pwned' x]
babyjaguar96 0
naww man it's just PWNED. damn straight.
awesomeooo3 0
Hahaha this is hilarious he's great! It was probably a joke which OP took too seriously.
sharmen 0
I'd kick his ass to the curb.
you_failed 15
that's soooo cruel x(
pancake_mixx 9
ha, well YDI for being loose ;p just kidding :D lmao your boyfriend is funny
darkmis1 18
Ouch
bling79 0
ouch!!!
0H_s0_iiC3Y 0
ouch
keepsmiling1996 5
ouch
bigblue95 0
couch
teamsleep22 0
27 for the win of the day
LightningLadyy 0
39 for the win of the gay
clos14 0
59 win of the day
TheComputerGuy96 16
ME for the win of the day.
josh5634 0
71 FAIL of the DAY
IPityTheFool 0
72 Win of the day
laurabev 9
72 win of the day. I had to :D
laurabev 9
I meant 75 o.o
sammehsaurus 0
All of you for the win of tomorrow! :D
bubbarific 0
78 Win of Tomorrow!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Schizomaniac 24
Killer instinct!!!!
Bon3less 0
ok 93 win of the homosexual :l I hate people that say 'gay means happy' it does not ******* mean happy for chrissakes
EricErection69 0
27 rofllol ouch ouch ouch couch I loled like an (retard did I spell that right?)
fuckingbiglife 6
all of you for the lol of the day ahah
Carl_Duker 0
zing! I'm sure it was a joke with a little truth in it at the same time.
WaylonD 4
I'm sure he didn't say ******, lol
amymarie2767 0
loosey goosey!