Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend once again asked me if I could “not get so wet down there” when we have sex, because it “feels funny”. Ummm, even if I could control it, I never knew it was a problem. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
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Top comments
ryanst 7
Since when was fingering called a hand job?
Doortje 30
Just say you love him and want to support him in every way, so if he's not a fan of other people's bodily fluids, you won't be either.
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Comments (120)
daaron 3
are you gay what kind of BS is this first of all, your **** deal with it fudge pounders 2 somebody is,.........!?
Ranimal 12
Jesus ******* Christ, what the **** are you trying to say?
nicole4rmmi 0
Are you special? Do you need someone to help you with posting things?
sarah48_fml 0
lol I get what he's trying to say.. but he loses me at fudge pounders-wtf?
whippymcdumb4zs 0
I've lost countless brain cells due to this comment.
chasin_butterfli 0
Now I'll be up the rest of the night wondering what his comment was.
musickraze45 0
mee too!! haha and epic pic!
Stiggy626 25
plus it's a girl and apparently to her, "hand job" means the same as fingering
Doortje 30
Just say you love him and want to support him in every way, so if he's not a fan of other people's bodily fluids, you won't be either.
zivlaks 0
^this
emerica34 0
that's true if he's not willing to please you then don't please him simple as that
kev88_fml 0
what a lil **** sucker to me i'll do that and more
DCFan 9
fag!
wtfitzcali 0
uh ok... Bet he doesnt mind recieving one. Tell him u dont like small flacid things and its awfully hairy. Eff him guess he doesnt understand the giving recieving rule. Its just being polite!
Ranimal 12
Well this can go both ways. You can either respect him and ahhhh hell, get rid of him if you want to get off. Unless you want him to be baby stepped through the whole process with countless attempts.
kev88_fml 0
WTF that's gay ha **** that I love the pussy
apcfan009 0
lol you aren't very good at this commenting thing are you?
beastxmanx45123 0
80, nice shirt dude BFMV.
SevySoHard 0
first off that's kindof a douche thing to say. especially if he wants you to blow him and/or such. but yeah FYI if you are a girl, him fingering you is not called hand job. I first I thought you were gay
ryanst 7
Yes, and now because of her crappy word choice, half the comments will be "are you gay?" and the other half "no dip shit it's a girl"
DropDead77 11
what a pussy :)
InsaneGenius 0
I've heard fingering called a handjob, and I've also heard eating the puss called a ******* or giving the girl head. i thought it was odd when I first heard it, but since then I've heard both of them often. You should be able to tell OP is a chick because dudes don't have a wet area down there, unless of course they peed their pants....
ryanst 7
I've never heard of fingering be called a hand job, perhaps you and Op live in an area where it's used that way.
Draminicaus 0
Sadly, the terminology is used where I'm from too.
ryanst 7
Really? Hm, it must be a South Eastern US thing, since Op is from Virginia and you're from Kentucky.
onnahkay 0
I'm originally from Kentucky and yes, a few people do say hand job if they're a girl. Thats something that I never got, another is giving head. I guess it depends if you live with just your father growing up, I had both so I say finger and go down.
SupxD 0
are you a dude.?
angel2293 0
datz wat i was thinking
Kittehx3 0
Female.
SophieH14 2
hand job is a weird way to put it but that sucks