Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
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Top comments
Katthebamf 29
Would you appreciate it if he called you mum/mom/momma (whichever) during sex?
tzemmy 25
why do people like calling their boyfriend "daddy"? doesn't it make you think of your dad?
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Comments (84)
netflixislove 32
You really deserved it…
DenverTyrrell 13
You could have asked him what he likes, it helps both of you because then you both know how to best get each other off :)
syed121417 22
I'm very sympathetic to a lot of sexual matters, but I don't think I have ever clicked YDI so fast. "He's Latino". So? Have you ever called him "papi" before, in general? Sorry, OP, I might be being mean. I understand that you thought he would enjoy it. But with sex, you always need to be sure they will enjoy something. It would have been better had you called him that in another sense before and seen his reaction then, oppose to springing it up during a fragile moment like sex. But it was the first time, and you will learn progressively how to you can please each other.
FutueMeamVitam 24
Mostly with you, except. For things like this, whether a person likes the thing in other contexts is pretty unrelated to whether they like it in bed (or wherever they like to do it). Trying it elsewhere wouldn't be very informative. E.g. many (most?) people who like being spanked during funtimes, wouldn't like it just about anywhere/anytime else.
sullivankeara 25
Agree
little_one 20
Honestly sex shouldn't be a "fragile moment" even the first time. I'd just be like "haha that's awkward sorry" and keep going. Sometimes random weird noises or words come out shouldn't let it ruin a perfectly good romp.
little_one 20
Also sometimes my hubby grabs or smacks my ass not in the bedroom eg. When I'm cooking or something, I love it. Don't need to be having sex to be sexual.
Sophie_K 8
Ydi
AlaskanG 27
I think there just might be a button for that.
megadki14 6
say what you feel in the moment during sex. if it turned you on to call him papi, it was just a simple mistake. but don't focus on what you should say because, as we can see, that backfires.
tdawg91 17
And the test results say: OPs boyfriend is NOT the father!!
Oyas12 14
Thats... that's a little stereotypical. But atleast you tried.
cherish0809 11
Nothing wrong with being a little weird during sex, but I don't think the first time with someone is the time to do it
TahoeFMler 22
So you're a moron and believe every stereotype you hear?
send3426 24
That's kind of racist.