Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
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Top comments
Katthebamf 29
Would you appreciate it if he called you mum/mom/momma (whichever) during sex?
tzemmy 25
why do people like calling their boyfriend "daddy"? doesn't it make you think of your dad?
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Comments (84)
casste 6
That's racist. Lmao you think all Latinas scream in bed and say "papi"? :-P
skyjayq 10
YDI enough said
PSYqualiac 17
There's a button for that.
dcats 13
You can call him master
TiggyBonkers 32
That's kinda racist
ajs1987 15
I just hate it when racism doesn't work in my favor
darryaz 9
I've talked to one of my Latino friends about this. He said that the term, "Papi" is a total deal-breaker.
derpina72 23
You honestly should have asked first. My husband is Latino and he loves when I call him papi. Neither of us use that word when speaking to our parents. Even though he's Latino, he still has always called his dad just dad, and I've always done the same. Sometimes it depends on the person because we simply have never associated the word with our parents, but some people have.
saxophonegirl97 7
"Papi" does not mean "father". Almost no one calls their dad that. It's almost always used as a pet name.
chrisstachon 30
lmfao..papi
Fishin_for_Coins 7
Yeah umm OP,Papi means daddy in Spanish...probably shouldn't of been such a rascist asshole and assumed that he'd like that XD