Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
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Top comments
junkman6 22
The idea of an obese bully being tazered makes me extremely happy.
Shleebs 12
Shocking.
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Comments (104)
raininginseattle 9
Your daughter rocks. Though I fear for her future boyfriends. Would you rather have Taylor Swift write a song about you? Or shocked with a taser?!
LexSwift 17
Why do people still think Taylor Swift jokes are funny? You've all worn them out to the extreme. This is why we can't have nice jokes. Taylor Swift jokes are right up there with the stupid "shitty/sticky situation" puns.
ninety 25
If your boss asks you could just tell him that his grandson was doing the Harlem Shake.
skyeyez9 25
If your daughter tased the fatass bully while standing behind him and no witnesses: dispose of the taser, tell nobody and admit nothing! Or else you will get sued for all you're worth.
TheDrifter 24
That's what I was thinking. Hide the tazer and send the bully for an extensive round of intrusive tests to determine if he has epilepsy or some other seizure inducing illness. Playing innocent is the key.
PaulieXP 16
Wouldn't they notice the burn marks or at least the the 2 tiny holes in his back ? Damn I watch too much CSI
azyjazy713 11
I can just imagine your daughter asking, what's this for Mommy? "Its for when men i dont know are bothering me and I cant stop them any other way" #Learned&Applied. She'll do great in school.
stretchedthin 20
maybe he deserved it maybe he was bullying her
JMichael 26
You say he's a bully? Then I'm almost positive she had a fantastic reason.
lzmo 20
You're daughter is awesome
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
No, this is Patrick.
Sweetpea22 14
Yeah, OP is a daughter and is probably awesome
AirBusDriver 23
DocB. Is that you? ha
lolita88_fml 27
I like your daughter. She will go far ^^
satanisthesavior 21
I voted YDI. Whether you intended to or not, you've obviously taught your daughter how to use a taser properly. So, yeah, you deserve it. But in a good way.