Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
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Top comments
junkman6 22
The idea of an obese bully being tazered makes me extremely happy.
Shleebs 12
Shocking.
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Comments (104)
Shleebs 12
Shocking.
TheCanucklehead 22
And that's how he became the most electrifying man in sports entertainment.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Watt a buzz that must have been for your daughter.
ptoka 20
What did he do to spark such a reaction in your daughter?
addioty 19
Ah I moderated this. I'm curious as to how a 4 year old knew how to work it...
Chris93Jones 20
if you smellellellell what the chubs is cooking
154rct 7
*rimshot*
KingRay 3
Punny
Tomato_Cheese 22
I got a buzz from the reading that one.
BFons 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I hope you gave her a taste of her own medicine.
wienerdog101 3
Dude you're a tard
NotAddictive 6
I feel bad for your kids...
Kyuzomi 12
Medicine...? Wha...? So with your logic. Taser = medicine.
metalwolf 17
He must be referring to shocktarts as medicine
dingleberrysteve 6
cuz murder is the best answer to a bully
Rainhawk94 27
#64 and #2 are related
Sitting_Ducki 8
Why???? He's a bully and I hope he got it in the balls lol
jazzy_123 20
why would you taze your own daughter?
JustBeingAwesome 22
#100, he uh... He didn't.
JustBeingAwesome 22
#100, I read your comment wrong I'm sorry :p
cheaptrick2 4
*cough* CHILD ABUSE *Cough*
kc_bbg15 14
You sir, are an idiot!
clever_name_here 7
Did you read the whole FML or the last sentence?
MateRicks 18
That must have been a shock
itscare1217 13
such an electrifying turn of events
emirie 21
Where did she find your taser!?
jkmartinjk 16
I didn't know that people carry around tasers now... I better be careful out there.
Knightchaser27 25
It was probably in OP's purse
ReignInBlood 11
The OP is a male, why would he have a purse?
peve3 12
It's not a purse, it's a satchel!
Brightbulb 40
Every Doctor I know carries a taser. They get assaulted a lot
emirie 21
Its not a satchel, its a murse
junkman6 22
The idea of an obese bully being tazered makes me extremely happy.
Dawnstempest 17
Enough that you start shaking from joy?
\ 28
I was quaking in my boots...
jerryj 27
Especially if it's the obese bully from Ted. Boy does he deserve getting an "ouch".
lylotrezor 20
I don't think violence can be solved with even more violence.
Randomness90 27
You and me both!
Samuel5463 12
Lol
Gingy723 7
That is awsome, props to ur daughter, hope u didnt get in to much trouble
Nakoma_fml 10
That should teach him to "treat others how you want to be treated".
jessBeAqueen 13
I'm guessing she was defending herself from his bullying. good for her. you should be proud of her for being able to take care of herself
JACKxRAWR 22
Even if not it's still funny as ****.
cakefete2 31
Would have been even funnier if she screamed pikachuuuuuu, then shocked him.
SarcasticShade 16
I guess it was Pikachu versus Snorlax 71.
Insane94 17
Shocking.
Soulsbane96_fml 11
Sorry mate. 1 beat you to it. Gotta be quicker on the draw.
Insane94 17
I know, I realised straight after I posted...
LittleBastard 20
You had time to change it to something more witty. 120 seconds, to be exact.