Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
junkman6 22
The idea of an obese bully being tazered makes me extremely happy.
Shleebs 12
Shocking.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
tristawho 3
Your daughter is awesome!
worldclassrager 41
Well at least you what caused it...better keep a closer eye on your taser...
carmagnet 11
At least you know she won't stand to be bullied. Strong willed. It could be a good thing!
sanecatlady 13
Not long ago here in Canada there was something about even the police using tasers because a few people died from it afterwards. The one connection was that they suffered from mental illness. Although I would love to see a bully feel *some* of the suffering they've induced on me or others, I don't really want a dead body on my hands.
kellyem2 20
Now my question is what did he do that prompted your daughter to taze him?
kiaora_fml 11
Maybe it will teach the bully a lesson! On another note I got some sort of sick pleasure from reading this :P
megcarpy 19
bobo_the_bear 5
How is him being obese germane to the story?
theboy13 13
This made my day!! Lol if really was a bully he deserved it lol!!
DragonDude 24
You should be proud.