Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML
Today, I found out why I haven't been getting my bank statements for the past couple of months. My parents have been hiding them from me, because they've been stealing from it. FML
Today, I caught my husband's crazy aunt attempting to steal from my daughter's piggy bank. When I confronted her, she tried to defend herself by saying, "She's 2 months-old, she doesn't need the money!" FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, I caught my sister taking money from my wallet. When I confronted her, she claimed that she was actually putting back money that she had stolen earlier. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Skiddywompus 0
The ****? How dare you steal their milk duds!
Denikk 0
What a lovely family...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
HeyImJuli 3
Call the cops, we hav a real burglary here *sarcasm*
Tennispro349 2
epic fail
ImmortalRiot 1
Yeah, how would you like it if someone stole 600 bucks from you? Jackass.
ADOG2645 17
I hope the cops hav got there soon
RoseCrystal 17
I hope you called the cops or something.
blondie1208 17
milk duds are some serious shit.
incrapper 7
I would have punched her husband dead in the face then taken more milk duds
yadisingh 5
What about the money?
Bethhh13 1
If someone stole my candy I'd be upset too!!
iianalove987 7
Same, but not at the same level as her aunt and uncle. :o
duckman9 55
the question is: would you be $500 angry, or more like kiss-and-make-up angry? coz there's a big difference...
Noob30 0
You stole Milk Duds?! Holy shit bro, you deserved it.
IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7
:D
yzf250rider88 2
So steal it back from them
CoverBoy 14
Ever seen the naked Milk duds advertisement? That's some serious stuff.
hannahmorgan06 7
milk duds are freaking awesome. you totally deserved it. hahahah :)
incrapper 7
and u deserve all the dislikes
hannahmorgan06 7
take a joke, dude.
Socalledproblem 5
I actually busted out laughing, FYL.