Today, while high, I accidentally sent a pizza to my ex-girlfriend's house instead of my apartment. She has a restraining order out on me. This is bad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. I accidentally sent one to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, my psycho ex tried to call the cops on me for "poisoning her food." I live two hours away from her, and have no money or gas to go anywhere near her. Turns out, she poisoned herself for eating raw chicken and pizza dough. I have a child with this idiot. FML
Today, after almost a year of dating and getting dumped out of the blue, I found out my ex-girlfriend wants to get a restraining order against me. I guess dropping a box of her things on her porch after she wouldn't answer her phone is considered stalking. FML
Today, my ex friend turned half the school against me, saying I stole and damaged her phone, both lies. Things escalated and she threatened to jump me if I didn't apologize. I apologized but now she's making me pay money for something I didn't do, and I'm seriously considering a restraining order. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted, "I'm going to kill you and use your head as a hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
If she has a restraining order then you shouldn't be even uttering her address, high or not. Remove everything from your life that has anything to do with her and leave her the **** alone.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1)
GoogieWithers 25
If she has a restraining order then you shouldn't be even uttering her address, high or not. Remove everything from your life that has anything to do with her and leave her the **** alone.