Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of Santa is to a coworker, and how every parent should tell their kids the truthLies. The intercom microphone was on. I single-handedly told a group of 100 six year-olds that Santa isn't real. FML
Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, my mom mentioned that she doesn’t think she’s gonna let my baby sister believe in Santa. When I mentioned that I believed in Santa growing up, she casually replied with, "Yeah, well you were slow." FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
She had to find out sometime. And what better time than when she's being a brat.
tehaustiebear 34
Personally, I don't like relying on the idea that kids should stop throwing tantrums just so they can get their presents. It'll objectify their actions, and make it all about the "What's in it for me? " attitude. Instead, perhaps try to explain why a good behavior is actually important, and why we try not to burden those that care for us. Maybe it won't work for everyone, it worked for me.
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Comments (80)
ShenaniganNinja 20
Nothing like a bit of extortion to force your kids into doing what you want. Never mind that I find the concept of telling children that Santa is real to be irresponsible in the first place. YDI.
gshpigboy 13
I checked neither, bc although it sucks that your kid threw a tantrum, you played it well!
megadki14 6
I know you feel guilty but accidents happen.
waterbuffalo 11
Santa is not real. Get over it. And smack that kid
MehrunesDagon456 20
I'm Kira.
TallMist 32
I'm L.
claudevandog 4
I would have said Just kidding
swanheart 35
I can't read this fml without picturing the 'im batman' scene from the Big Bang theory. Anyway I'm sure yr daughter will forgive you, eventually
CantTouchThat 29
100% YDI. Don't get me wrong, you tried but failed..miserably..