Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
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Top comments
Sammara 0
Why is a FIVE week old puppy sleeping in your bed? They're still really fragile at that age.
wiggs5 0
Aw :) puppies are great!
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Comments (150)
shoecrazy 5
awe that's so cute and sad at the same time!!!
jameschis 0
ah happened to me :s
AnotherRandomPer 0
awwwww that so cute :)
disney_blonde 16
A 5 week old puppy shouldn't even be away from its mother, let alone sleeping in a people bed...you're lucky you didn't move in your sleep and seriously injur it!
Iskaria 0
At 5 weeks puppies are usually ready to leave their mums it's absolute minimum age but fine, also there are the occurrences where mummy dog isn't very good at mothering and the pup will need hand reared, it's fine for the animal to be in a people bed, just not outside until it's had it's jabs... op didn't say they were sleeping, just the pup was
MellisaTatum 6
Oh, No! We wouldn't want to "injur" it! Spell correctly if you're going to act like some "puppy genius".
brinda08 5
Are you really going to bitch about a missed letter? It's probably a typo. And yes, 5 weeks is way too young to adopt a puppy, unless it was due to some special circumstance where the mother was not taking care of it or it was orphaned. But if that was the case, op shouldn't be sleeping with it in her bed.
mintcar 10
Aw, puppies are so cute.
leeshxx 3
unlike you
A7X_LoVeee 10
Grow the **** up 54. I love how people talk shit over the Internet cuz I guarantee you would never say something like that to her face/anyone for that matter.
RainbowHeadache 2
Wow uncalled for 54.
Prankster7o7 5
I've said some pretty screwed up things to people, but that was uncalled for, 54.
iZDa 0
ur face is uncalled for
HannahMarshall 6
jealousy is a bitch.
musicboi96 1
lol just like 54!!
sunshine233 0
oh good one ^^^^ and 54 she is way hotter than you
jazbeth94 0
was that neccesary?
Mr_Darkside 5
54- do you have self-esteem issues? (T ^ T)
mintcar 10
Thanks guys. 54, did you /really/ think an insult like that would hurt my feelings? -rolls eyes-
ImInABox 6
Urine trouble. O.o
joyeusebochito 1
win xD
RainbowDash_fml 0
I see what you did there.
tatortotz 0
5 weeks is way too early to be separated from its mom, poor pup!
Pretty_In_Purple 0
it is actually illegal for a breeder to separate a puppy and mother before 8 weeks of age in some sates.
hilariexcore 0
Sometimes things happen.. My friend just got a 3 week old puppy from her aunt because the mom got ran over by a car... They just have to be bottle fed and constantly wrapped with a towel or small blanket.
xxxxshanexxxx 0
stop sneezing duhh
allieo 1
hahah(: nicee
alex1432 9
5 weeks? I doubt it.
hilariexcore 0
It happens...
chosha_fml 27
YDI because you should know that new puppies (especially ones not even old enough to leave their mother) pee anytime, anywhere.